TO LET GO

We admitted, “Donna”, one hundred years old, on a Tuesday.  Donna was diagnosed four months back with new onset Alzheimer’s Disease.  Family hired part-time caregiving support, as Donna was still safe to be home alone; but did benefit from the extra help.  Her two daughters live nearby and brought her meals along with helping with housekeeping chores etc.  

Donna then took a dramatic fall two weeks ago.  She has dramatically declined since that recent fall.  She is no longer able to walk independently.  She had been using a walker, but now needs assistance with getting up out of a chair.  In addition, she needs help with taking the few steps to her walker.  Someone needs to steady her and hold on in order for her to maneuver only a few feet.  She is now using a wheelchair.  

Donna did not understand our support.  She had fears that we were there to move her out of her home.  She has lived in the same home for over seventy years.  Even with her daughters attempt to explain our support, she did not understand. 

“Elaine,” on the other hand, is another patient we admitted one day after Donna.  Elaine was born within two weeks of Donna.   Both Donna and Elaine will be turning 101 within the next week.  Elaine, like Donna, had been independent with most of her needs until she suffered a stroke two weeks ago.  Elaine is now bedridden.  In addition, she also some confusion.  Elaine is so weak that she cannot even sit up in her hospital bed.  

Elaine’s daughter, “Bonnie”, told us that her mother is so ready for it all to be over.  She has a strong Buddhist faith that gives her peace and comfort. 

It was such a coincidence meeting these to women one day apart.   Both are very strong and tough as most of us will never survive to 100 years of age.  How they cope, was such a huge contrast, though.  We all cope in a way that works for us.  My heart goes out to both of them, because no one would want to live so dependently.  What is so sad is that their options are now so limited.  I wish both of them the best.

TO LET GO 

 

They were born seven days apart

over one hundred years ago.

She’ll turn 101 in five days

and her cohort only a few days more.

 

They both were admitted to hospice

one day apart from each other.

Both because of a rapid, recent decline;

one from a major fall; the other a stroke.

 

Family has hired full time caregiving support

as her recent decline has been swift.

Her confusion and weakness have increased so much;

she can no longer manage any of her needs.

 

She did not understand our support

as feared we would make her move.

Wanting to live her life as always,

“Both of you will have to go.”

 

She, on the other hand, has also declined.

A stroke two weeks ago hit her hard.

She is totally dependent with all of her needs.

She is done, as stated,

                    “Buddha, please take me now”.

 

Both women have lived more years

then most of us will ever see.

One is not yet ready to have it be over,

while the other, on the other hand,

is so ready

                    to let go.