STEREOTYPE

Hospice received a referral this morning for “Rusty”, fifty-eight years of age.  Prior to driving to his home, I had the opportunity to read his past medical history.  He has abused drugs and alcohol for decades.  Without much effort, an image gently plants itself into my brain of what I likely may find meeting with Rusty. 

I drove to his home in an industrial part of town.  His home was one of three tightly tucked near a large trucking company next door.  My thoughts started to soften quickly when I read the door matt near the front door.  It had me laughing out loud.  The matt looked like it had been there for many, many winters.  It said, “Come back with a warrant”.  I loved it. 

Rusty’s wife, Kimmy, welcomed me so kindly into their home.  We walked into the bedroom to say hello to Rusty and his son, “Shawn”.  Both men were covered in tattoos.  Drug abuse and tattoos can set up false images of who Rusty, Kimmy and Shawn truly were. 

I immediately fell in love with this family.  Rusty immediately stated that he wants to be told the truth.  His doctor told him one day ago about hospice.  Randy asked his doctor, “Am I dying?”  No one can truly answer that question as five people can have the same diagnosis and will have five different journeys. 

Rusty, along with his wife and son, were so appreciative of our support and visit.  They all used humor to cope and spoke about the good in their life.  It is a perfect example of how some people have to learn their lessons a harder way than most, but the important part is that they all did learn.  Grace to all of them.

STEREOTYPE

 

We received a hospice referral today.

Liver cancer which now has spread.

He’s been through chemotherapy and radiation.

There is nothing more that can be done.

 

Reading his medical record tells a long story;

living his life the only way he knew.

He has a history of illegal drug and alcohol abuse

spanning over way to many years.

 

Their home is located in an industrial area.

Semis and big rigs come and go routinely.

I had a vague idea of what I may encounter

before I walked through their front door.

 

His wife gently welcomed me in.

He, like his son, were covered in tattoos.

My expectations steered me in one direction,

but his love, his family, his heart

corrected me to where I needed to go.

 

He wanted to be told the truth, asking

“How much longer will I live?”

I responded, “There is no one who can tell you;

but we will support you to do this your way.”

 

He denied any fears or concerns;

having no regrets or unfinished business.

His strong Lutheran faith gives him strength.

He is ready to go when it is his time.

 

We all have subtle expectations regarding stereotypes.

He did not follow any of those rules.

His strength is being true to who he is;

while accepting himself and others alike.

 

His stereotype is now so clear to me;

giving and receiving unconditional love.

“I am looking forward to seeing my mom again.

               I’ve had a good time.”