“Dean”, fifty-one, was diagnosed with brain cancer just four months ago. He underwent chemotherapy and radiation treatments. Due to the side effects of the treatment, he has not been able to work since that diagnosis.
Dean lives with his wife, “Kristine”, and their two adult daughters in a very small home. In addition, there are three cats in the home. Kristine shared that her cats give her so much comfort and support. In order for us to sit down in the living room, Kristine moved several blankets off the couch. Kristine started to laugh as one of her cats was snuggly sleeping under the high pile of blankets.
Kristine used a lot of humor to cope. She was not familiar with cancer and the medical terminology. She would tease herself when asking us certain questions regarding medical issues.
When the nurse went to assess Dean, she found him struggling to breath even though he was on a high level of oxygen. In addition, he was minimally responsive. The nurse told Kristine and her daughters, ‘It appears he is imminent.” So sweetly, Kristine asked what did imminent mean. She accepted his fate, like I believe she has done her entire life. She, also at times, showed a bit of anger, which is a natural grief reaction. We are logical beings and want logical answers as to “Why?” There is no logical answer. He is not being punished or responsible for his diagnosis. It is just so random.
As we were leaving, Kristine, so deeply from her heart, thanked us for being there to help. She has experienced many struggles throughout her life. I so believe those challenges has enhanced her ability to recognize, while truly embracing that gift as well.
A HARD LIFE
Life has thrown them many curve balls.
She’s a fighter and accepts this reality.
He was just diagnosed four months ago.
He’s also a fighter, although to no avail.
With so much radiation and chemotherapy,
he could no longer continue to work.
They have no income as it was just yesterday
that they filed for his State Disability.
Their two children live in the home
helping as much as they can.
One is on leave, while the other disabled.
She accepts this as their normal life.
He is no longer eating or drinking.
Weakly speaking only one word or two.
Family was told he is imminent;
likely only hours to days left to live.
She and her daughters were so thoughtful and kind.
One could feel the strong love in the room.
They all asked us so many questions;
wanting to hear the exact truth.
She and her family have had a very hard life
with such limited income to support them,
but she and her daughters truly and deeply know
the gift of giving and receiving unconditional love.
She so deeply thanked us for just being there;
“I am so appreciative that you were here”.
She recognizes the good in life as it reflects
beautifully against what she has lived and survived;
A hard life.
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