QUALITY OF LIFE

I did two hospice admissions today.  Both had a lot in common regarding their cancer journey and their readiness to “let go”.  Both were diagnosed with cancer only a few years ago.  “Diana”, fifty-two, was diagnosed with liver cancer only five years ago; while “Danny”, with his cancer just four years ago. 

Both have had a sudden and dramatic decline two weeks ago; to where they are both needing help with all of their daily needs.  Diana is still walking very slowly and very wobbly.  She is not safe without someone by her side holding onto her.  Danny, too, had been walking short distances in the same manner.

 Like Danny, Diana is no longer eating or drinking.  Danny is totally alert and able to express his wishes for this to be over.  Diana is confused and no longer talking.  Her mother, “Celeste”, is by her side, knowing her daughter’s time is short.  Celeste has had many losses in her life and knows what is coming.  It doesn’t ease her heartache and grief.  Likely her other losses may fly back like they all happened just yesterday.  Celeste’s husband died two years ago on hospice.  Celeste’s eldest daughter was murdered five years ago while at her place of work.  And then just recently, her three-month old grandson died of SIDS. 

Even though she is familiar with the emotions and grief of loss, it does not ease her pain of losing her second daughter.  Both patients have a similar health history.  The thing that amazed me the most is how both of these patients were such a perfect example of what we all need; and what neither has; Quality of Life.

 

QUALITY OF LIFE

 

Her cancer has been around for five years.

She had been doing quite well until

suddenly and dramatically, all has changed

               in just two weeks of time.

 

Her mother stays faithfully by her side;

knowing her time is coming near.

She’s familiar with the end-of-life process

as her husband died two years ago on hospice.

 

She has experienced many other losses in her life;

her eldest daughter; her youngest grandson.

“I’ll feel relief when my daughter goes

as she will no longer be suffering.”

 

He was diagnosed with cancer just four years ago.

He, too, was living his life and also doing quite well.

Again, in two weeks, all has suddenly changed.

He is no longer eating or walking; needing much more help.

 

His deep faith gives him hope of afterlife.

“Each day I am miserable.  It’s the same day after day.

I want all of this to be over.

               I am so ready to die”.

 

They are each experiencing the same thing

with not being able to manage their own needs.

Both likely missing and wanting so strongly;

something so powerful; so credible; so coveted;     

and yet so clearly needed,

                         Quality of Life.