I WANT

We admitted, “Angela”, seventy-six, to hospice today.  Angela was diagnosed with Bile Duct Cancer four weeks ago.  It was also discovered, at that time, that her cancer had already spread to other organs.  The doctor informed Angela and her family that there was no treatment available. 

Angela lives with her husband, “Ted”; while her three children all live nearby.  This is a very close and supportive family.  The hospice nurse and I felt the love the moment we walked into their home. 

Angela has totally accepted her terminal diagnosis.  She is focused on what she wants and what she needs to do to help her through this challenging time.  Angela’s family, who were all present, were, appropriately struggling with this new diagnosis. 

Angela and her family were realistic regarding the diagnosis and poor prognosis.  Her three daughters were wanting information about hiring caregivers as are aware that Mom can no longer be home alone.  Ted was a few years older than Angela and needed help caring for her.  The family were rallying around for support, which was wonderful. 

Angela amazed me with her truth and her spirit.  She was realistic, but was focused on how she wanted to handle living with a terminal disease.  I so admired her strength and courage.  Her personality was contagious and I have no doubt that her family will deeply hear what she has to say and what she needs to do.  “Way to go, Angela!”

I WANT

 

She was just informed four weeks ago;

a terminal diagnosis with no option of a cure.

She’s readily accepted her poor prognosis;

more focused on what she needs to do.

 

Her family is struggling with the recent news,

trying to come to terms with what it all means.

They are not ready for her life to be cut short.

They are not yet ready to say “Goodbye”.

 

She has no fears about what is happening,

as her thoughts are on the reality of it all.

Her loving and supportive family gives her comfort,

while her strong Christian faith helps her cope.

 

She is very clear about what she wants.

“I want to be comfortable without any pain.

I want to be awake and aware

               with my family by my side.”

 

“I want help to live; not help to die.

I want to live like I will still be alive tomorrow.

God will take over when

               I can’t take it anymore.”

 

There will never be any confusion,

or ever any doubt about,

what she so dearly needs;

but mostly about what

               she so dearly wants.