"HI JILL"

I met Jill two months ago when the nurse and I went out to admit her to our Palliative Care program.  Jill suffered from ovarian cancer.  Her medical journey was rocky as Jill wasn’t attentive to the prescribed medical plan.  Jill had a lifelong addiction to meth.  She had one daughter and one teenage grandson, who lived locally.  

Jill lived in a shelter as was homeless.  She had been living in a tent by the nearby river, but her health issues made that plan a bit difficult.  Jill had a lot of energy from a powerful personality.  Her emotions would swing from sadness to full joy, craziness and laughter.  She made me laugh so easily as her stories about her life were so “off the wall” and funny.  She loved to make others laugh.  The more I would laugh, the more she would go on with another crazy story.  She had such a vibrant personality. 

Due to Jill’s medical journey and decline, the hospice nurse and I went out last week to admit her to hospice.  Jill was a bit wobbly on her feet, but due to her energetic personality, it was hard to notice.  Jill was recently told by her physician that her disease was terminal.  Jill spoke of deep sadness hearing that from her doctor, but then would quickly change the subject to something, that again, would make me laugh.  Jill’s compassionate side showed up so beautifully when we shared that hospice will be around for 13 months after her death giving bereavement support for her daughter and grandson. 

Jill’s death came quickly.  She suddenly collapsed one day, while walking through the hallway at the shelter.  She likely was dead before she hit the floor as she bled out.  I was so shocked when I heard the news three days ago.  Since her abrupt death, she has so strongly been on my mind.   These past few days, I find myself having silent talks with Jill letting her know how much she touched all whom she met in her life.  I want to make sure she knows her life was perfect for her.  I will never forget her and, so remarkably, her beautiful soul.

"HI JILL"

 

I have only met you twice;

two months ago, and then again, last week.

With both visits, you touched my soul so deeply.

You so naturally embraced my heart.

 

The connection so surprised me

as you and I, it seemed, were so different.

You had a lifelong meth addiction;

you fully lived each moment,

               with no concern of what came next.

 

But then, you so easily made me laugh.

Your stories, although outrageous, were fun to hear.

You completely accepted each day’s drama,

with a heart full of tenderness for your family.

 

Your sudden death three days ago

has left me sad as I am strongly grieving the loss.

You made a huge difference in this world;

to your family; to your friends; and yes, to me.

 

I want you to know I saw your beautiful being,

even though you tried to hide it with your fervent demeanor.

Deep inside, you had love, compassion and truth.

That is your amazing legacy to all of us left behind.

 

I hope to meet you again on the other side

where you are healthy and so full of life.

I want to hear more crazy stories and laugh.

I will so want to see you at least one more time

to be able to again say

               “Hi Jill.”