MANY TEARS

"John", eighty-four, was diagnosed with Bile Duct Cancer two years ago.  He underwent radiation treatment which helped him for a while.  Two weeks ago, he caught an infection which brought him to the hospital.  The hospital treated the infection to no avail.  John became septic.  He started to have difficulty swallowing and was eating very little.  The doctors discharged him home to hospice.

John and his family are from Pakistan.  When the hospice nurse and I walked into their home, we were surrounded by fifteen family members.  About a third of them spoke English, while the others did not.  Two of John's sons were the primary contacts for hospice, although only the youngest son was fluent in English.  The eldest son knew a few words and could probably make out a gist of what we all were saying.  

Many of the family members; adult and children; were tearful as all are starting to realize the seriousness of John's disease.  The eldest son sat near his father, who was in the hospital bed.  It was obvious how observant he was in trying to grasp the conversation.

When he walked me out to the front porch, I was so surprised by his response, but then felt so honored and humbled as he trusted me enough to know that I would understand.  What a beautiful gift he gave me.  It was so rewarding and I felt so honored.  Hospice work allows me to witness pure life.  Thank you really does not capture the appreciation of how it so deeply makes me feel.  But then, thank you all.  

MANY TEARS

Many tears flowed today

as he just returned home.

His hospitalization left him weak.

They all know it won't be long.

Of all the family members there;

only a few spoke fluent English.

I tried to easily explain the hospice program

while giving them comfort and support.

The two sons were the primary contacts;

although only one completely understood.

The eldest son knew only a few English words;

but I so hoped he knew how much we cared.

I spoke to the young children about their emotions.

I said that there are no rules.

It never is easy to say goodbye.

Just allow whatever feelings to come.

The eldest son walked me outside to the porch.

He closed the front door behind him.

He started to say a few words;

of which sadly I could not understand.

Suddenly he burst into tears.

He no longer had any words.

I hugged him and held him tight.,

while softly saying it was okay.

His tears showed me his true heart

for a father he loved so much.

Communication between us

suddenly became so clear

         simply because

                        he cried.