THEIR NORMAL

"Kate", eighty years old was being discharged this afternoon from a hospital secondary to a chronic heart condition. Kate has been in a recent decline to where she is much weaker, becoming more confused and needing assistance with all of her daily activities.

Kate lives with her sister, "Diana" and her niece, "Holly". Holly is the primary caregiver for both of her aunts. Kate was being discharged late in the day. I was able to go to her home to meet with her family to explain the hospice support and to complete the paperwork. I never met Kate as she arrived home after I was gone. The hospice nurse was coming after me to be at the home when Kate arrived home by ambulance.

The home was so difficult to find as there was a tremendous amount of vehicles blocking the address and front door. I called Holly as I could not find their home. Holly came out and unlocked the front gate and stood on the sidewalk which so helped me know where to go.

Holly walked me into a small living room with boxes piled up near the ceiling. Diana was sitting in a nearby chair. They directed me to sit on a very small stool. The three of us all sat very close together. Diana immediately expressed her humor. She had me laughing as to where I was able to tease her back, which she loved.

They both loved for Kate unconditionally and spoke seriously of how best they could care for her. But then, before too long, their teasing would start again. Humor so strongly helped both of them cope. We never spoke of the clutter in the home. There was a clear walkway back to the bedrooms, so the family could maneuver around the home.

It is fascinating to me how each of us are comfortable in a certain environment. I do not like clutter at all; whereas many are okay with a lot more. It is such a personal comfort zone. I felt honored to have met Diana and Holly. Their love shined, blocking out the crowded environment. In the end, it is love that truly counts most of all.


THEIR NORMAL　

We all naturally adjust
to our own personal normal.
It is our standard; our routine.
It is to where we so easily flow.

They lived in a rougher side of town.
Their home was hard to locate.
Hidden behind an abandoned truck;
a run-down trailer and a decaying boat.

She walked me through their front door
into a crowded, cluttered living room.
Boxes piled high full of sundry belongings.
Nowhere to sit but a small stool.

They so beautifully welcomed me inside.
So appreciative that hospice was there to help.
Their humor so easily flowed; sarcastic and fun
while good naturedly including me in.

I was drawn in by their compassion;
by their loving, beautiful hearts.
While my attention was clearly focused on them;
I forgot about their cluttered menagerie.

They were relaxed in their home.
It was comfortable to both of them.
Most could not live that way;
but it somehow worked naturally for them.
It so truly was
          their normal.