DOING JUST FINE

I saw two patients one day apart with a similar sudden onset of a disease. "Grace", ninety-five, had been healthy her entire life. A few years ago she moved in with her daughter to get the additional help. Grace was slowing down as expected for most of us as we reach our nineties. Grace's daughter, "Diana", had hired help during the day so that mom would have someone around while Diana was at work.

Four days ago, Grace had a massive stroke which so totally knocked her down. Grace is now bedridden and not eating at all. She is hard to arouse as is imminent. Her two daughters were present at our hospice admission visit. Both were sharing family stories about their mother. They used a lot of humor and were laughing while paying tribute to their mother.

Likely for Grace, this is the best way to go; quick without suffering. But then, it is so difficult for the family to believe how rapidly everything has changed. This is a wonderful family who do support their mother, and each other as well.

Today, the hospice nurse and I admitted, "Paul", eighty years old, to hospice. Two weeks ago, the family knows the exact date, they heard from the doctor that their dad had cancer which has spread to his bones.

His wife and daughters spoke of how strong Paul was. His decline was so rapid. He is now bedridden while eating and drinking very little. Paul has lost 15 pounds these past two weeks. Tears flowed, but their love shined through so beautifully.

Death is never easy; whether swift or slow. No matter which way it occurs, the patient will be forever missed. Patients are so much more than their diagnosis. Both families shared stories of their loved ones. Those stories best describe the life of two wonderful people. That is so much more of who they truly are.


DOING JUST FINE　

She's had a long healthy life.
Living well for over 95 years.
"She's needed a bit of help this past year,
but teasing us all always helped her cope."

All that changed four days ago.
A massive stroke knocked her down.
No longer eating or drinking.
Sleeping all of the time.

Her two daughters know it is her time.
She's had years many of us never get.
But still age does not matter at all.
          "She will always be our beloved Mom."

He, too, had a similar occurrence.
Two weeks ago, he was putting in a new floor;
washing the car; pulling weeds out back.
An unexpected cancer diagnosis changed it all.

It is so surreal to his family.
He suddenly became so weak.
He stopped eating and has lost weight.
He stays in bed sleeping all of the day.

He was such a strong man the family says.
He held on for as long as he could.
He decline is so rapid.
         They know his time is near.

Both families are coping the best they can.
Struggling to process the rapid decline.
"This is so shocking; so surreal."

"How did this happen as fast as it did?"
They had been doing
          just fine."