LOSS OF A CHILD

This morning, the hospice nurse and I met with "Eileen". Eileen is ninety-two years old and was just informed three days ago that she has cancer. Treatment options were very limited and Eileen chose not to pursue any treatment. The doctors told her that she has likely only a few weeks to live.

Eileen took the news in stride. She has accepted her fate like she has accepted other challenges in her life. Eileen had six children. Three of her children have preceded her in death. Loss has happened so often throughout her life. She easily accepts what will be as that is the coping mechanism that works for her.

She amazed me with her strength of living her life the best way she knows how. Eileen now is focusing on completing all the estate paperwork that needs to be completed. Two of her children live nearby and will be helping her with those tasks.

This afternoon, another hospice nurse and I went out to meet "Theresa". We were told it was an informational visit only. The patient was Theresa's daughter, who was in a hospital ICU nearby. That is all that we knew as Theresa was the one who called hospice for us to make a visit.

Theresa needed to talk about her daughter, "Donna", who suffered from kidney and liver failure. Donna has been in the ICU for over a month needing continual dialysis. Theresa and her family will be meeting with her daughter's doctors tomorrow to talk about the best options for Donna.

We were softly direct with Theresa sharing that the best plan is to follow Donna's wishes. The options are so limited while being difficult; go on life supports or die in the hospital. It was then that Theresa spoke about her Catholic belief in afterlife.

During the last part of our visit, Theresa spoke about her son, who died six years ago from heart disease. His death was quick and sudden and she has come to terms with her faith regarding that loss.

I was so inspired by each mother. I so believe that the loss of a child has to be the hardest loss of all. I admire Eileen and Theresa as both were grieving in a way that worked for them. Such a huge loss has left them both stronger and braver than before. Peace be with both of them.


LOSS OF A CHILD
　

It was just three days ago
she was told it was cancer.
There is no treatment; no cure.
Likely only weeks to live.

She took the news in stride
like she has always done in her life.
Hearing and accepting what will be.
Living her life the best way she can.

She has already lost three of her six children.
I asked her, "How do you cope with such losses?"
She answered the only way she knew how,
          "I just continue to move forward."

Later today, another mom called us out for help.
Her daughter is gravely ill in a nearby hospital.
Her kidneys have failed; her liver is shot.
          "What are we to do?"

"The options are limited.
Life supports versus dying in the hospital.
There is no right or wrong answer.
Focus on following your daughter's wishes."

Her Christian faith strongly sustains her.
"Our children are only loaned to us.
God brings them back home to Heaven
when their time here on Earth is done."

Both mothers have lost more than one child.
They have found their own way to cope; to grieve.
"No parent should ever attend their child's funeral.
          That is the cruelest loss of all."