HER PERSONAL JOURNEY

The hospice nurse and I met with "Jackie" today to admit her to our program. Jackie, fifty-two is homeless. Jackie spends her days on the streets, while at night, she sleeps in a nearby shelter. The nurse and I met Jackie at that shelter.

I immediately say Jackie's spirit. She had a beautiful soul; an amazing spirit. Jackie told her truth. She was sexually abused by her older brother as a child. She spoke with her mother about it. Her mother told her not to tell anyone. For years, Jackie kept silent. Jackie's father was an alcoholic so liquor was available to her. She started to drink her father's alcohol at age nine to cope.

Jackie shared how she wishes she did things differently. She felt she may have had the help she needed at that young age. I validated her feelings saying how she reacted and felt at that time, was normal for any nine year old. Jackie shared such sad details of her life.

She lived four decades more trying to cope by using drugs and alcohol. I believe her liver disease and its symptoms gave Jackie awareness of her reality. She has looked deeply into her life. The moment I met her, I saw her beautiful soul and her spirit. I shared with Jackie that her life experiences, although so sad, did guide her to find her true self; her beautiful heart.

I felt honored to have met Jackie. I also feel that we were meant to meet up. So shared how so many people judge her. I so respected her honestly while sharing her life and emotions with us. I saw her beautiful soul; her amazing spirit. She thanked us for listening to her without judgment. I wish her the best and hope she finds what she needs to help her to continue on as best as she can be. God bless you Jackie.


HER PERSONAL JOURNEY　

Her life story is a tragedy gone bad.
Sexually abused at age eight by an older brother;
drinking her father's whiskey to help her cope.
Her life continued to go downhill from there.

Drug and alcohol abuse stayed with her for decades.
She tried multiple treatment programs to no avail.
Five years in prison for selling heroine didn't stop her.
And then, not surprisingly, liver disease; stage 4.

She lost her family; she lost her home.
During the day; living on the streets.
The cold, the rain, hot scorching summer days.
Then finding a shelter for night time sleep.

Her liver disease is now impacting her life.
It stopped her abruptly to face reality.
She has been clean and sober for over a year.
She now truly knows, she needs outside help.

She is so truthful about her life.
Not blaming others for the way things have been.
Looking inward while blaming herself; full of regrets.
not seeing her truth; her inner spirit or her heart.

She felt helpless; not wanting to do this alone.
I validated her emotions; I normalized her thoughts.
"Although your experiences were difficult,
you learned from them; they made you grow
to become the beautiful person you are today."

What is the purpose for her heartbreaking life?
Somehow it seems so unfair; so unwarranted;
although it brought out her spirituality; her beautiful beliefs.
Maybe it guided her; it directed her to walk her journey.
          Her own personal journey.