HER VOICE

The hospice nurse and I went out to admit, “Sarah” to our hospice program. Sara, eighty-two years old, has struggled with Alzheimer’s Disease for many years. She lives with her husband, “Mitchell”, who is her primary caregiver. The couple have three children, but all live out of state and not able to help out as often as they would like.

Sarah has been in a rapid decline this past month. Where, one month ago, she was walking with a walker, now she needs her wheelchair. She is now totally dependent with all of her needs. Mitchell was so gentle; so soft; so loving with Sarah. His total focus was on taking care of Sarah.

Mitchell has a cute sense of humor which helps him cope. But the one thing that saddens him the most is that Sarah is using so few words now. There are times she does not talk at all, which breaks his heart. He has been losing Sarah for so many years as her needs increase, but she has always had her beautiful voice. Mitchell is now losing the one final piece of his wife.

Mitchell will become sad when talking about his wife turning within, then will use humor to break his sadness. Grief impacts us all in different ways. I am glad that hospice is now on board to support Mitchell as well. He is doing an amazing job caring for his wife.


HER VOICE
　

She's had Alzheimer's for many years,
but this past month has been hard.
She's been declining so quickly.
Becoming dependent all the more.

He's taken care of her all alone.
No family or other help around.
He's done an amazing job;
so loving; so gentle, so kind.

She requires help with all of her needs.
She cannot do anything on her own.
He feeds her; he dresses her, he helps her to bed.
His total focus is only on caring for her.

He told us that she is turning within.
Her face frequently expressing a flat affect.
She is sleeping more now than she is awake.
He is so saddened as her words are now few.

He is losing his wife slowly day by day.
She is not the woman he has loved all these years.
He is holding onto whatever she can give;
while using wry humor to lighten his load.

He will be by her side until the end;
while slowly letting her go.
But he knows what he will miss most of all
will be the beautiful sound of
          her voice.