I have always been blessed to be able to see another’s spirit; another’s soul. I see the love they have inside. It has always been a natural thing for me. It doesn’t distract me as I walk along a street, but when I stop and talk with someone, I immediately sense their goodness inside.
“Paul”, sixty-six, was diagnosed with Bile Duct Cancer two months ago. His wife, “Marilyn” shared that he had symptoms a few months prior, but Paul thought it was nothing serious and didn’t go to the doctor to have it checked out. During the Admission Visit today, Marilyn spoke with the hospice nurse and I in the living room. Paul was asleep in the bedroom.
Marilyn spoke about his symptoms and his recent, rapid decline. While she spoke about all of his limitations, I pictured a frail man needing so much help. At the end of the visit, we all walked into the bedroom to introduce ourselves. I saw a vibrant man lying on top of the covers on his bed. He immediately smiled and took my hand. I felt so much kindness; so much love from him.
His heart was huge and I felt so surrounded by his beautiful being. It makes me think that likely he is ready to go as has completed his work here on Earth. All that remains is love in his heart. I hugged him before I left; telling him what a beautiful person he is and will forevermore be.
INTUITION
When I was still a youngster;
maybe about eight years old or so;
I was told by several relatives
that I was very intuitive.
I didn't know what the word meant
so I went to ask my mom.
"You have a strong awareness
of what others are inside."
I have always seen people’s spirits.
I have always seen their hearts.
Their love; their sensitivity;
all the good inside.
He was diagnosed two months ago.
His decline has been swift.
We spoke with his family at length
before meeting him.
They said he was weak; struggled to get around.
He didn’t eat much at all; sleeping all the time.
I had an image of a frail gentleman;
dependent; needing so much help.
We walked into his bedroom
to check in and kindly tell him “Hi”.
His tremendous spirit embraced me so fully.
I was immediately drawn by his love.
He had no fears or concerns about anything.
Preparing himself to go with such a beautiful soul.
He listened so intently to all that we had to say.
But in the end, he will so rightly; so perfectly;
do it all his way.
Sunday, June 30, 2019
Saturday, June 22, 2019
AND SO
The hospice nurse and I went out to meet "Paula" and her son, "Matt", to admit her to our hospice program. Prior to meeting her, I noticed on her medical records that we were the same age. She was born three months after me. It does catch my attention as it immediately makes me feel so grateful for my health.
Paula was diagnosed only five months ago. Her chemotherapy was not affective at all. It left her weak and nauseas. The doctors offered more chemotherapy, but Paula strongly felt that it would only make her sicker. She was looking at quality of life; not quantity. Paula’s son, Matt, was a strong advocate wanting to follow his mother’s wishes.
Paula was a “straight-shooter” . She always spoke her truth in a kind and supportive way. She was so grateful for her two children. There was a lot of love in her family. She was so aware of the importance of love in one’s life. She accepted her terminal diagnosis and strongly wanted to discuss all of her options with the hospice nurse and I. She would ask us direct questions wanting our truth. One’s terminal journey is so unique to each individual. There are so many questions with no direct answer.
Meeting Paula made me feel so grateful for what I have in my life. None of us know when our last day here on earth will be. Paula was a wonderful teacher to us all in appreciating each day and living your best life with all that you have. It isn’t any more complicated than that.
AND SO
She's lived many decades.
Born in the year between two wars.
Growing up with Elvis and Rock & Roll.
And so have I.
She married and has two children.
Both caring and devoted to her.
She embraces her children's love.
And so do I.
She finds the good in others,
valuing all that she has.
Coping with life's stressors as they arrive.
And so do I.
She was diagnosed five months ago with cancer.
Chemotherapy did not help at all.
Her cancer is spreading; leaving her weak.
She knows her time is short.
She is a realist; wanting to know the truth.
She appreciates honesty from others
as it helps her understand them more.
And so do I.
Our similarities drew her to me;
but "There for but the grace of God, go I."
I felt empathy, support and compassion.
Hopefully receiving them;
and so did she.
Paula was diagnosed only five months ago. Her chemotherapy was not affective at all. It left her weak and nauseas. The doctors offered more chemotherapy, but Paula strongly felt that it would only make her sicker. She was looking at quality of life; not quantity. Paula’s son, Matt, was a strong advocate wanting to follow his mother’s wishes.
Paula was a “straight-shooter” . She always spoke her truth in a kind and supportive way. She was so grateful for her two children. There was a lot of love in her family. She was so aware of the importance of love in one’s life. She accepted her terminal diagnosis and strongly wanted to discuss all of her options with the hospice nurse and I. She would ask us direct questions wanting our truth. One’s terminal journey is so unique to each individual. There are so many questions with no direct answer.
Meeting Paula made me feel so grateful for what I have in my life. None of us know when our last day here on earth will be. Paula was a wonderful teacher to us all in appreciating each day and living your best life with all that you have. It isn’t any more complicated than that.
AND SO
She's lived many decades.
Born in the year between two wars.
Growing up with Elvis and Rock & Roll.
And so have I.
She married and has two children.
Both caring and devoted to her.
She embraces her children's love.
And so do I.
She finds the good in others,
valuing all that she has.
Coping with life's stressors as they arrive.
And so do I.
She was diagnosed five months ago with cancer.
Chemotherapy did not help at all.
Her cancer is spreading; leaving her weak.
She knows her time is short.
She is a realist; wanting to know the truth.
She appreciates honesty from others
as it helps her understand them more.
And so do I.
Our similarities drew her to me;
but "There for but the grace of God, go I."
I felt empathy, support and compassion.
Hopefully receiving them;
and so did she.
Saturday, June 15, 2019
AGELESS HUMOR
We admitted, "Carl" to our hospice program today. Carl, ninety-eight and a half, as he continued to say, was so young at heart. He was able to walk around his apartment without any devices. He did use a walker when ambulating outdoors, but was a vital, amazing human being.
Immediately he had us all laughing with his wonderful humor. He was quick witted and sarcastic, in such an amazing way. Carl spoke of appreciation in all things in life. He didn't see what he could no longer do with ease, but focused on all that he had in life.
He was realistic about his life, and accepted it all without fail. His Significant Other, "Rita" sat nearby and just listened quietly. Carl spoke about meeting up with Rita after being separated for seventy-five years. He then asked her out and he told us that she said, "No!" Rita then answered quietly, "I didn't say that." Carl had a way of slightly twisting his stories into awesome humor.
Carl was such an inspiration to us. Just because you have lived decades, not all of us become old. Keep it up Carl.
AGELESS HUMOR
He had been lying down with his partner.
He got up to let us all in.
Loudly, while laughing, he then said,
"We are shacking up together!"
They dated while in high school.
Losing touch after going away to college.
He became widowed and looked her up again.
After seventy-five years apart,
they, for a second time, became one.
He was a high school principal for years.
He laughed while sharing several stories;
but the one lesson he learned was,
"Kids are never wrong."
He laughed throughout the visit,
finding humor in so many things.
He also had a positive attitude about life;
so appreciating his ninety-eight and a half years.
Toward the end of our visit,
he became solemn while talking about his faith.
"You can't live this long and not believe.
Every day is a miracle."
Immediately he had us all laughing with his wonderful humor. He was quick witted and sarcastic, in such an amazing way. Carl spoke of appreciation in all things in life. He didn't see what he could no longer do with ease, but focused on all that he had in life.
He was realistic about his life, and accepted it all without fail. His Significant Other, "Rita" sat nearby and just listened quietly. Carl spoke about meeting up with Rita after being separated for seventy-five years. He then asked her out and he told us that she said, "No!" Rita then answered quietly, "I didn't say that." Carl had a way of slightly twisting his stories into awesome humor.
Carl was such an inspiration to us. Just because you have lived decades, not all of us become old. Keep it up Carl.
AGELESS HUMOR
He had been lying down with his partner.
He got up to let us all in.
Loudly, while laughing, he then said,
"We are shacking up together!"
They dated while in high school.
Losing touch after going away to college.
He became widowed and looked her up again.
After seventy-five years apart,
they, for a second time, became one.
He was a high school principal for years.
He laughed while sharing several stories;
but the one lesson he learned was,
"Kids are never wrong."
He laughed throughout the visit,
finding humor in so many things.
He also had a positive attitude about life;
so appreciating his ninety-eight and a half years.
Toward the end of our visit,
he became solemn while talking about his faith.
"You can't live this long and not believe.
Every day is a miracle."
Saturday, June 8, 2019
STRONG FAITH
The hospice nurse and I went out to meet "Nora", eighty-eight years old. Nora has suffered with cardiac disease for many years. She had been doing quite well until a month ago where things quickly went downhill. She spent a few days in the hospital for treatment, but was discharged home today. Where she had been walking with a walker, she is now bedridden and needing help with all of her daily needs.
Nona was widowed forty years ago. Her husband had a sudden heart attack. As expected, it impacted the family greatly. Nona worked two jobs to care for her children. Her main focus was letting them know they were loved. Unfortunately, four years ago, two of her children died months apart; one from a heart attack and the other a stroke. She did a beautiful job raising them all as now her three remaining children are here by her side. Two of her children live out of state, but it is so important for them to be with their mother.
Nora amazed me as she had such a positive attitude about life and smiled so easily. Living the dark side of life, left her to appreciate the beautiful side. Nora was so successful in teaching her children the importance of love and family. In addition, her strong faith, I believe, helped her survive and live her life in the most amazing and loving way.
Nora is an inspiration to us all. She is such a prime example of how life is all about perspective. I know every morning, Nora must think, "This day will be full of love." Because for her, I know every day is a great day. Thank you Nora for being you.
STRONG FAITH
She's had a lot of life challenges.
War and conflict in her Russian homeland.
Emigrating to America in her twenties.
Searching for safety in an unknown land.
She met and married the man of her dreams.
Then suddenly, a heart attack ended his life;
leaving her to raise their five children alone.
Her Christian faith helped carry her on.
She worked two jobs to support her family;
but always made time to unconditionally love them.
She knew how important affection was
as lived through times with no love around.
Four years ago, two of her sons died four months apart.
She grieved like you know any parent would.
Now in her eighties, her health has slowed her down.
She is weak, bedridden and sleeping a lot.
You walk in her room to meet with her.
The first thing you see is her uplifting, happy face.
She'll smile so beautifully and then tell you, "Hello".
Appreciating all that she has around.
Her strong faith continues to support her.
She knows where we all will be going.
She has no fears; no concerns at all, stating
"I am just renting here.
My mansion is up in heaven."
Nona was widowed forty years ago. Her husband had a sudden heart attack. As expected, it impacted the family greatly. Nona worked two jobs to care for her children. Her main focus was letting them know they were loved. Unfortunately, four years ago, two of her children died months apart; one from a heart attack and the other a stroke. She did a beautiful job raising them all as now her three remaining children are here by her side. Two of her children live out of state, but it is so important for them to be with their mother.
Nora amazed me as she had such a positive attitude about life and smiled so easily. Living the dark side of life, left her to appreciate the beautiful side. Nora was so successful in teaching her children the importance of love and family. In addition, her strong faith, I believe, helped her survive and live her life in the most amazing and loving way.
Nora is an inspiration to us all. She is such a prime example of how life is all about perspective. I know every morning, Nora must think, "This day will be full of love." Because for her, I know every day is a great day. Thank you Nora for being you.
STRONG FAITH
She's had a lot of life challenges.
War and conflict in her Russian homeland.
Emigrating to America in her twenties.
Searching for safety in an unknown land.
She met and married the man of her dreams.
Then suddenly, a heart attack ended his life;
leaving her to raise their five children alone.
Her Christian faith helped carry her on.
She worked two jobs to support her family;
but always made time to unconditionally love them.
She knew how important affection was
as lived through times with no love around.
Four years ago, two of her sons died four months apart.
She grieved like you know any parent would.
Now in her eighties, her health has slowed her down.
She is weak, bedridden and sleeping a lot.
You walk in her room to meet with her.
The first thing you see is her uplifting, happy face.
She'll smile so beautifully and then tell you, "Hello".
Appreciating all that she has around.
Her strong faith continues to support her.
She knows where we all will be going.
She has no fears; no concerns at all, stating
"I am just renting here.
My mansion is up in heaven."
Saturday, June 1, 2019
A WIFE
I made a call to "Adam", to offer condolences and support. Adam's wife died four days ago after being diagnosed with cancer only two months prior. Adam sadly shared that the both of them always thought he would die first as he was fifteen years older than she.
Adam said that his wife had a slow, continuous decline since her diagnosis, although the day before she died, it came on suddenly. He spoke of how the day she died, they were sitting on the couch in the family room. She was lying in his arms when she quietly took her last breath.
While Adam shared his story, he focused more on the process leading up to death and the sadness associated with it all. I told Adam what struck my heart so deeply was the gifts he and his wife gave to each other. He, allowing her the perfect moment to go; and she letting go while resting on his shoulder.
I added that, although sad, it was the most loving, spiritual part of it all. That moment emphasized the beauty of their relationship that will forever hold true.
A WIFE
He was fifteen years older than her,
but their love so deeply strong.
He always thought he would go first,
whereby she would have years alone.
Both were shocked when she was diagnosed;
only two short months ago.
Her decline was steady and slow.
Both knew she didn't have long.
On Saturday, she stopped talking.
A rapid decline from the day before.
By Sunday, she was barely awake;
not responding much at all.
Sunday evening they sat together on the couch
with the television set turned down low.
He wanted to carry her to bed,
but didn't have the strength to do so.
He spoke with the hospice night nurse,
who called the Fire Department Lift Team.
The Fire Fighters and Paramedics came quickly;
informing him she was already gone.
He allowed her to die peacefully in his arms;
while she gave him a gift of letting go.
She was still taking care of her husband,
as will continue and forevermore
always be his wife.
Adam said that his wife had a slow, continuous decline since her diagnosis, although the day before she died, it came on suddenly. He spoke of how the day she died, they were sitting on the couch in the family room. She was lying in his arms when she quietly took her last breath.
While Adam shared his story, he focused more on the process leading up to death and the sadness associated with it all. I told Adam what struck my heart so deeply was the gifts he and his wife gave to each other. He, allowing her the perfect moment to go; and she letting go while resting on his shoulder.
I added that, although sad, it was the most loving, spiritual part of it all. That moment emphasized the beauty of their relationship that will forever hold true.
A WIFE
He was fifteen years older than her,
but their love so deeply strong.
He always thought he would go first,
whereby she would have years alone.
Both were shocked when she was diagnosed;
only two short months ago.
Her decline was steady and slow.
Both knew she didn't have long.
On Saturday, she stopped talking.
A rapid decline from the day before.
By Sunday, she was barely awake;
not responding much at all.
Sunday evening they sat together on the couch
with the television set turned down low.
He wanted to carry her to bed,
but didn't have the strength to do so.
He spoke with the hospice night nurse,
who called the Fire Department Lift Team.
The Fire Fighters and Paramedics came quickly;
informing him she was already gone.
He allowed her to die peacefully in his arms;
while she gave him a gift of letting go.
She was still taking care of her husband,
as will continue and forevermore
always be his wife.
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