PERFECT

A fellow co-worker, "Tanya", and I have worked together for several years. She is such an amazing and supportive person; full of love and kindness. One of Tanya's closest friends, "Stephanie", was diagnosed with cancer a number of months ago. Stephanie underwent chemotherapy to no avail.

Tanya asked one of our wonderful hospice nurses and myself to do the admission visit for her friend. I felt so honored to be asked. I truly believe that ninety-five percent of hospice is from the heart. Patients and family can feel the heart and support we bring when introducing them to our hospice program.

When we walked into Stephanie's home, Tanya sat down next to me. Stephanie was sitting nearby across the room. I focused the majority of my conversation onto Stephanie as I knew Tanya is aware of the program. In addition, when I looked at Tanya, my heart would just melt and I wanted to hug her. It did distract me for a moment, but then I would focus on Stephanie.

Walking out after the visit, I felt I just didn't do enough. I wanted to say all of the wonderful and amazing words and be perfect. I know it is a goal no one could achieve, but I felt I could have done so much more.

I know Tanya will never even come close to thinking that, but because she is my friend, I emotionally want to fix it and make all of her pain go away. Intellectually, I know that was an unreachable goal for anyone.

Life does send all of us obstacles and high hills to cross over. My heart goes out to Stephanie and Tanya. The best I can do is be there for Tanya and support her as I best can.

PERFECT　

I know that no one is totally perfect.
Such a difficult goal to even achieve.
But there are times we strive to be flawless.
Human nature unsurprisingly pushing us there.

She is such an amazing person.
A huge heart so full of love.
Tender, kind, gracious and smart.
I love just having her around.

She asked me and her favorite nurse
to please do the hospice admission for her friend.
I felt so honored and humbled by her request.
She was letting us know just what to do.

With each admission I explain our program.
Offering comfort with words from my heart.
I let the patient know that they are in charge.
"Please let us know what works for you."

My friend was sitting next to me.
I was as much there for her as I was for her friend.
I wanted to offer tremendous support;
using only perfect and wonderful words.

I set a goal no one could ever achieve.
I felt I could have done more.
I wanted to take their pain away;
while striving for an unreachable goal;
          to be perfect.

SPIRITUAL

I am the Admission Social Worker at my hospice. I feel so blessed to be able to meet so many who are coping with such challenges. All of us cope so differently, but I so often find humor in many of the homes I enter.

“Catherine”, eighty-nine, was admitted to our hospice today. The moment we met, her humor coated the conversation. Here, I walk in as a professional, but so many get me laughing so hard. I know it helps to connect with the patient and the family. Humor is so helpful in taking the edge off the stress of the situation.

Catherine had no fears or concerns about her end of life journey. She had tremendous family support. Her husband, along with all of her five children; and many grandchildren, were there. So many supporting her and each other. It was beautiful. The ninety minutes I spent in their home, was so special and fun. A perfect example of why I continue to do what I do.


SPIRITUAL　

I have to ask several specific questions
upon each hospice admission I do.
My favorite question to ask is,
"Do you have any religious or spiritual beliefs?"

Some have a strong faith; some not at all.
"What is your philosophy about life?"
There is no right or wrong answer.
I love to hear what folks deeply believe.

Religion is spiritual;
but spirituality is so much more.
It could be nature or the universe to you.
No matter what; it gives one support.

So many of us use humor to cope.
It helps take the edge off of the rough reality.
It makes it easier to get through each day.
          Laughter cleanses the soul.

I asked her about her religion or spirituality.
She paused and thought a moment; then said
“My family will have a séance after I die
and I will hear, “Trump is no longer president.”

It doesn’t matter what political party you choose.
It doesn’t really matter what you believe.
Humor pokes fun at all of us equally.
It helped her get through a bit easier today. 

HIS LEGACY

My cousin, Jack, died two days ago of Lou Gehrig's disease. My husband and I visited him one day prior to his death. I spoke about his legacy being laughter as he could always make me laugh so hard.

Since his death, two days ago, I have been wanting a sign from him that he is okay. During an afternoon meeting today, I was focused on my co-worker and my work discussions. Out of sheer amazement and shock, Jack gave me a sign that he is, and will always be, around. We traveled to so many places with Jack. Whenever we were in an airport, we would always bring up saying hi to Jack and then laugh like it was the first time we heard it.

Thank you Jack. Your spirit, your soul, your legacy and your memories will forevermore be with me. Gifts that I will always cherish in my heart.


HIS LEGACY　

In our last visit together, I told him,
"Your legacy to me will be
how you always could make me laugh".
One day later, he was gone.

It's been two days since he died.
It still feels all so surreal.
I'm looking for signs of him all around.
"Show me that you are okay."

I was meeting with a co-worker this afternoon.
She sweetly asked how I was coping.
"Didn't you all do vacations together?
Didn't you travel all over the world?"

"Yes, but we could not greet
my cousin in an airport.
With security guards hanging around
saying "Hi Jack" may cause an alarm."

We both started giggling so hard.
The laughter and the story
strongly reminded me of Jack.
He is still here deep in my heart.

The next moment my cell phone rang once.
I checked to see who had called.
To my total surprise, it simply said,
"Missed Call. Jack cell."

I truly believe he heard us laughing.
He so wanted me to know
that his spirit and soul will always be here.
He and I both know that he and his legacy
          will always be around.