I AM SO SAD

A co-worker was diagnosed with cancer two months ago. After weeks of tests, she will be having chemotherapy this week. Yesterday I drove her to the clinic to have a port placed for those treatments. Driving to pick her up, I felt so thankful that she knew I would be there for her. It was humbling, but also a wonderful feeling. Along with those feelings, I also feel very sad for what she has to go through these next months.

She and my friendship is so based on sarcasm and humor. The two of us laugh a lot when we are together. I am seeing a new side of her. She is sharing her heart and her soul with lots of tears. It has connected us on a deeper level. We work for an amazing agency as every single one of us under that roof are there for each other. It is our family for sure. She is adamantly embracing that love and support.

Today, I am feeling so sad about it all. Thoughts of my friend, Kate, who died twenty years ago of cancer, are flooding emotionally to me like it was yesterday. I am surprised as I have not felt that grief so strongly for many years.

I was part of a group of friends/caregivers for Kate. I did drive Kate to treatment a lot. I think driving my co-worker to treatment triggered the same emotions. This will be another learning chapter in my co-worker's and my life. Embrace the love and the knowledge. I feel so many emotions; many wonderful, but overall, I feel such sadness. I am so appreciative, though, that my friend is traveling her journey surrounded by love. We all wish her well.


I AM SO SAD　

My thoughts were of appreciation.
So thankful I could help her.
Honored that she had asked,
but still saddened by it all.

I drove her to the clinic.
I waited nearby while thoughts
of my friend Kate's death
whispered softly by my side.

I am surprised by my emotions.
It has been over twenty years,
but the grief has rapidly returned.
          Reruns of time past.

I know her journey will be challenging,
wherever her road may go.
It also will be nourishment for all of us
          to flourish our souls.

For that I am grateful,
          I am truly blessed.

But then again,
          I am so sad.