ALWAYS

The hospice nurse and I admitted "Theresa", ninety-one, to our hospice program three days ago. Theresa lives in an Assisted Living Environment as she needs help with all of her daily needs. Theresa was eating lunch in the dining room when we arrived. We were meeting with Theresa's two children; her daughter, "Terri", and son, "Paul", who were sitting with mom. Theresa produced this beautiful smile when we walked up. She was so welcoming to the two of us, although did not understand who we were.

After a few moments, we all excused ourselves and went into a meeting room nearby to discuss hospice supports and criteria. Terri and Paul had such diverse personalities. As high energy and anxious Terri was, Paul was so calm and relaxed. Terri visits mom daily and stated that she has given up a lot of her life to be there for her mother. Paul lives out of state and visits for several weeks every two months or so.

Both of the children wanted what was best for mom, but totally disagreed on how to achieve that goal. We sat with them for over two hours explaining hospice support. Terri kept interrupting her brother and he, attempting to stay calm, would let her talk. By the end of our visit, the two of them were quarreling with each other. Paul said that the two of them never got along. But the one wonderful thing was, they both did agree on what was best for their mom.

Paul shared that his mother asked him if he would continue to visit after she is gone. He was surprised by her question, but answered it by what he thought she would want to hear. I shared with the both of them that their mom will let go when her work is done. She wants to make sure her two children will be okay.

Today, three days later, Paul called to share how impressed he was by what I told him about "Mom will always be a mom." It gave him some peace.

ALWAYS　

She's been demented for years,
although recently in a decline.
She remembers years past,
but can't recall eating lunch.

Both her children are devoted to her.
They want to do what's best.
She lives nearby and sees mom daily.
He routinely visits from out of state.

He and his sister travel two different paths.
She is a worrier, anxious and concerned.
He, on the other hand, is calm, relaxed.
He's taught meditation for years.

Mom has some awareness of her decline.
She's talked about her dying, asking him,
"Will you still come visit
          after I am gone?"

He was surprised by her question.
He didn't know what to say,
but told her what she wanted to hear,
"Yes, of course, I will still come out."

I said that even though she is confused. 
Even though she doesn't understand.
In the end, she'll continue to perpetually
worry about the two of you.

As after all, she will always,
          and forevermore continue
                   to be your mom.