"Jennifer", forty-seven, was diagnosed with cancer years ago. She had been in remission, but found out eight months ago that her cancer is back. Jennifer has such a strong spirit and fought to live her life to the fullest. She thought hard about how she could live her life her way, in spite of her illness.
Jennifer said she has always known she would not live a long life as cancer runs rampant in her family. Both her parents have preceded her in death. She spoke about many other family members who died from the same illness. Jennifer felt a strong need to control her disease in order to live her life to the fullest.
She had planned on working three more weeks, but with sudden, dramatic symptoms leading her to the ER last night, she knows her time has been cut shorter than she dreamed. We all die the way we live and Jennifer is no different from the rest of us. She continues to strive for ways to remain in control.
She is realistic about her poor prognosis and recent decline while continuing to find ways to manage her deadly disease. I wish her peace in her heartfelt journey.
SHE NEEDS CONTROL
She is not surprised she has cancer.
"Cancer runs rampant in my family.
My mother died at age fifty-seven.
I have always known I would never live long."
She planned on working another three weeks,
but last night she ended up in the ER.
Weakness, pain, shortness of breath.
The reality of her disease screaming loud.
Making plans, doing tasks, being in charge.
She's tried so hard to remain in control.
Now knowing that her cancer is progressing,
it is winning the battle, not her.
Like her mother, she thought
she would have fifty-seven years.
Now aware she will die ten years sooner,
is tough for her to grasp; to believe.
She asked about the End-of-Life Option Act.
What and where does she need to go?
Making decisions, making plans.
She needs control.
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