SCHITZOPHRENIA

The hospice nurse and I went out to admit, “Bonnie” to our hospice program. Bonnie and her husband, “Willie”, have three amazing children. This was such a close, intertwined group of people.

All of us sat in one big circle in Bonnie’s living room. Bonnie did not join us as she is tremendously weak and was sleeping throughout our visit. All of the family, except her one son, “Kevin”, were speaking their truth and emotions. The family has a strong Christian faith which helps all of them cope.

Kevin sat there quietly with his gaze downward. You could tell he was struggling with what he was hearing from us and his family. I was sitting across from Willie and got up to sit next to him in order to sign the admission paperwork. I sat between Kevin and his dad. Our seating arrangement was perfect as Kevin was sitting at an angle to me.

I asked Kevin how he was doing with all of this. I spoke softly and calmly gazing into his eyes. Kevin started to speak. At first slowly, but then was able to fully express how he was coping. He started to say, “I know my mother is dying.....” Kevin spoke simply, but was able to totally pinpoint his emotions.

The two of us spoke for about fifteen minutes. Kevin was able to begin to process his emotions. Everyone else sat quietly without saying a word. All of us were respecting Kevin. It gave me such a wonderful feeling to be able to witness such a beautiful transformation.

I left the home about fifteen minutes before the hospice nurse. The hospice nurse later informed me that Kevin’s sister shared how she had never seen him speak like that before. Kevin made such a difference to me. I only hope I did the same. I cherish this special time with Kevin.


SCHITZOPHRENIA　

He sat so quietly looking stressed.
One knew it was because of his mom
and her recent, rapid decline.
Reality no longer able to deny.

His gaze was downward listening to us all.
His family spoke freely;
direct and to the point.
Emotions, tenderness, grief.

I sat down next to him and softly asked,
“How are you doing with all of this?”
He slowly started to answer,
deep in thought and from his heart.

He spoke about his mother dying.
His strong belief she’ll be okay
crossing over to the other side.
He wants her to think of just that.

He spoke of his one uncle who died years ago.
His uncle was so close to his brother, like he too.
“He had schizophrenia. I miss him so.
I have schizophrenia too.”

I was so amazed by his thought process.
Simple, but profound.
He was getting to the deep core of his grief.
He wanted to understand.

I told him how impressed I was by him.
“Keep doing what you are doing.
It will help you and your mother too.
But most of all,
         you are one remarkable son."