A SPECIAL GUY

"Matt", sixty-six, was admitted to hospice several weeks ago. Matt had colon cancer and was told there was nothing more to be done. Matt then moved in with his family in order to have someone to care for him as his needs increased. Due to the move, Matt connected with a new physician. His new physician informed Matt about new treatment options that were available.

Matt had a very low-key, calm personality. He thought about the treatment and was excited about giving it a try. Because he was pursuing curative treatment, we discharged Matt from hospice two weeks ago. It was then that I met Matt as I went out with the nurse to admit Matt to our Palliative Care Program.

Matt immediately impressed me with his huge heart and embracing personality. He had strong Eastern Spiritual beliefs and would remain calm no matter what came his way. Matt had a successful career and totally enjoyed his life. We sat with Matt in the backyard of his family's home. Matt was so full of life.

One week later, Matt ended up in the ICU due to the progression of his illness. It was then that his family chose to admit Matt to hospice for the second time. Yesterday I went out to meet with Matt and his family. I was shocked at how much he declined in such a short period of time. Matt was lying in bed and spoke only a few words. He easily fell back into a deep sleep. He was so weak, I knew he did not have much time.

I heard late this afternoon that Matt had died. My grief came on suddenly. I was happy for him that he is no longer suffering, but sad for his family and all those who knew him. It is such a huge loss for all. Matt has left an amazing legacy. I feel so blessed to have met him. Special times with such a special guy.


A SPECIAL GUY

There was something so special about him.
It wasn't just one particular thing.
How he embraced his life so fully.
Easily accepting whatever came his way.

He would think about all of his options.
Which one naturally would work the best.
Which would keep balance in his life.
Able to easily then, take another step.

He had a complete, full life,
but wasn't quite yet ready to let go.
His doctor wanted to try new treatments.
He, with hope, willing to give it a try.

One week later, admitted to the ICU.
Nothing more do be done.
Yesterday, home with hospice support.
Unresponsive, imminent, it was now his time.

He died peacefully late this afternoon.
I am happy for him as he suffers no more.
But I had chills, eyes full of tears.
I am grieving
          such an amazing man.