THEY KNOW

We admitted , "Ted", a twenty-four year old diagnosed with cancer. Ted had been doing quite well until a recent onset of tremendous pain. Ted moved in with family who were able to care for him. His pain became quite severe to where he had many clinic visits to help reduce his pain.

We met Ted’s family in the kitchen of their home. Ted did not participate as he was in a deep sleep. At the end of our visit, the hospice nurse examined Ted and felt he was imminent. He had moments when he did not breathe. This symptom often can occur at the end of one’s life.

At the beginning of our visit, the family was talking about curative treatment and wanting to call 911 so that Ted would not die. We spoke of our palliative care program thinking that they were not ready for hospice. The nurse and I listened to them and validated their feelings. We also directed the family on looking at Ted's wishes and how he perceived quality of life.

By the end of our visit, the family was on the hospice page. They knew he was dying and they started to look at the peaceful side of things. Their strong Christian faith helped them cope with knowing that Ted was going to a better place. It was amazing to see their transition from unrealistic hopes of curative options, to coming to terms with the reality of things. They were giving Ted a lot of love, compassion and care. The best medicine for him.


THEY KNOW

He was diagnosed two years ago.
Until recently, he was doing well.
His decline has now been swift.
Weakness, pain, no appetite.

They wanted him on hospice.
They knew that we could help.
They needed resources, reassurances
that he would be okay.

They spoke of clinical trials.
They didn't want to destroy any hope.
He has a full life ahead of him.
My gosh, so unfair; he is only twenty-four.

We spoke about comfort care.
We spoke about quality of life.
What would be his wishes?
What would he tell you to do?

"I gave him permission to go.
I said we’d be alright.
He's going to a better place.
Do we call hospice when he stops breathing?"

Yes, they know.
          They all truly know.