POWERFUL DEPRESSION

Eighty-six year old, "Bea", suffers from many chronic health problems including diabetes and depression. Bea has a history of several suicide attempts. She has had intensive treatment in the past. Her doctor prescribed anti-depressants, which Bea refuses to take. She also refuses meals, but her diet consists of ice cream, chocolate and cake. That sugar diet is the exact opposite of what a diabetic should eat. Bea has no concerns about that at all.

Bea's doctor referred her to hospice, although she did not meet the criteria for our program. Our hospice also has Palliative Care support. We referred Bea to that program in order for medical staff to be more involved to hopefully help Bea and her family.

Bea has poor memory and may suffer from early onset of dementia. It also appeared that her forgetfulness may also be that she doesn't have any energy to put into her thinking. Bea has been passive and depressed for twenty-five years. These are the only emotions she knows at this time.

Bea's husband felt so helpless as he could not force her to take her medication. We offered many tactics, but Bea's depression has such a strong hold onto her that she is determined to just be with it.

I walked away feeling so sad for Bea and her family. I only hope that our Palliative Care Program can help Bea make even a small positive change in her life. My heart goes out to her and her family.


POWERFUL DEPRESSION

When you first meet her, you know.
She will smile and talk to you,
but her movements are slow
with a speech that is faint.

She will talk about her depression
sharing that she has been sad for many years.
Her family knows the exact date it began;
twenty-five years ago when her son committed suicide.

She refuses to take any medication,
although is told it will help her.
She has tried to overdose in the past
and has been hospitalized each time.

She is grieving her son's suicide
knowing the impact on those who loved him.
Her current behaviors are passive suicide,
although she can't face that reality.

She loved to garden; she loved to play the piano.
Activities no longer in her days.
She spends most days in bed,
while being up throughout the night.

I likely was unsuccessful,
but tried so hard to help her.
I walked away with feelings of sadness,
hoping there was one small thing
she may have heard.

Her normal is now continued sadness.
That is the only emotion she knows.
She is enslaved, captive and driven by
          the powerful Depression.