"I AM SORRY"

"Joseph", sixty-two, was diagnosed with cancer four years ago. He had been doing fine, until four days ago, when he rapidly declined. Joseph lives with his wife, "Barb". They have a daughter, "Annie", living nearby. Joseph stopped eating several days ago and stopped drinking water yesterday. He is bedridden, unresponsive and actively dying.

The hospice nurse and I walked into Joseph's home to do our hospice admission. Barb led us into the kitchen to sit down at the kitchen table. Moments later, Annie walked in. She immediately cried and hugged me so tightly, while saying several times, "I am sorry." So many folks, myself included, say "I am sorry" when we ever cry. One need not ever express regret, but somehow we do feel apologetic.

This family is such a strong example of why hospice workers do what we do. It is so rewarding. This family kept thanking us while crying, but it is us who need to say thank you to them. Barb and Annie’s words were telling us we made a difference to them today. It doesn’t get much better than that.


"I AM SORRY"

Four days ago he was walking.
They thought he had some time.
Now he is bedridden, unresponsive.
Likely hours to days is all.

We walked into their home to support them.
She immediately cried and fell into my arms,
saying, "I am sorry" at least three times.
I held her tight, knowing she needed the embrace.

I praised her for showing her emotions.
It's good not keeping things inside.
It releases your pain, your strong grief.
It's not easy having someone you love die.

They asked about having a priest come out
to bless her father before he dies.
I made a phone call to our chaplain.
A priest was coming in one hour's time.

She was so appreciative. she hugged me
while strongly crying one more time.
Saying again, "I am sorry", but so thankful.
"You were meant to be here today".

She didn't have to apologize to us at all.
We are the blessed ones to be able to come.
It is humbling and an honor to do our work.
We thanked them for all they gave to us.
The gifts do run
               both ways.