HIS BIRTHDAY

Sixty-seven year old, "Shirley", has been in poor health for many years. Shirley lives with her husband, "Jake", who is twelve years older than she. The couple have four adult children and multiple family members who all live nearby in their small town. This is a very large, extended family who are all very devoted to each other.

The patient had been in the hospital multiple times this previous month. She has been through a lot of treatment for her cancer, but when the doctors offered kidney dialysis, Shirley declined. She became confused and unresponsive while in the hospital. The family wanted to follow Shirley’s wishes to be able to go home. That is when they contacted our hospice for help.

The hospice nurse and I met the family late this afternoon at the patient’s home. Her husband, their four children and numerous other extended family were all holding vigil. One could feel the strong love in this home. We observed each family member caring for each other. Humor was a huge coping mechanism for this family. They were sharing how Shirley would always be laughing so loudly. She never complained about anything, but would rather look on the positive side of what life gives out.

Jake got serious and shared how he wanted Shirley home today as it was his birthday. He told Shirley a few days ago to hang on until his birthday; and she did. Jake said he will be ok after she dies because of his strong faith and his amazing family. Jake and his family are such a strong example of being able to give love to another. What a remarkable family.


HIS BIRTHDAY

Being twelve years older than she,
he always thought she'd outlive him.
But recently things have dramatically changed.
He knows her time is now near.

She's been in the hospital almost a week.
There is nothing more to be done.
He hopes to get her home today.
This special day; his birthday.

She is unresponsive, imminent, hardly aware,
but she did make it home by four.
He stroked her face to say welcome home.
His loving heart so sincere.

Such a large family all gathered around.
Telling her stories; laughing out loud.
Teasing each other in such a positive way.
Obviously, humor, helping them cope.

In the end, he truly knows and strongly believes
it is not what is in your life, but whom.
He felt so blessed that she made it home
on this special day;
                   his birthday.