TOUGH TIMES

“William”, eighty-eight, suffers from Parkinson’s Disease and dementia. He’s suffered from the Parkinson’s for twenty-five years. He has had dementia for ten of those years.

William is married to “Julia”, his wife of forty-eight years. They have one son, who is estranged. Julia had been caring for William in their home until two years ago when she realized, she could no longer manage him. William now resides in a nearby Board and Care home where Julia can visit daily. Julia has her own health issues as walks with a walker. She has had two hip surgeries on the same hip as the first one didn’t work correctly. In addition, she has back problems. Each time Julia shared a story about the struggles in her life, she would always add, “What are you going to do?”

William has been in a recent decline to where he is bedridden, eating very little and sleeping most of his days. He is very hard of hearing and confused; speaking only one to two words at a time. William slept through our entire hospice visit.

The moment we walked in, Julia started to share her stories. She was born in Czechoslovakia. During World War II, her family fled to Germany as the Russians were invading her country. Her family eventually settled in London. When Julia was eighteen, she received a Visa to move to San Francisco. That is where she and William met.

Julia also spoke of her estranged son and how she is best friends with his “ex-ex-ex-ex” girlfriend. In addition, she spoke of all of her own health problems. She has several close friends and a number of very good neighbors. She added that she can get lost in a good book. She says she will read anything she can get her hands on.

Julia takes things in stride with a very positive attitude. She does not complain, but shares these stories with a smile and a laugh. She is so aware of what she can control in life and what she cannot. She keeps moving forward saying, “What are you going to do?” Julia says she will be relieved when William dies. Not for her, but for him. She says he has no quality of life at all. She knows she will miss him, but hates to see him this way.

I know Julia will be okay after all is said and done. She will handle William’s death like all of her other life challenges; with grace, humor and acceptance. She is my hero. She embraces life and works the most out of what she has, choosing not to dwell on what she has lost. “What are you going to do?”


TOUGH TIMES
　

Her life has been full of heartache.
It’s been one thing after another.
Recent times have been tough for her.
It’s like she got more than her fair share.

She smiles so easily when sharing her stories.
She has no bitterness, no resentment, no blame.
Her life is a dramatic, historical novel.
She looks forward to reading the next page.

Her family left their home during the war.
They had no choice but to abruptly leave.
She was seven and saw it as an adventure.
To a new land, a new culture, a new beginning.

She has her own health problems;
their son is estranged.
Finances are a struggle,
but she’ll never complain.

He got sick twenty-five years ago.
His decline has been steady and slow.
First his body, then his mind.
She continues to smile and plug away.

She has such a positive outlook on life
no matter what comes her way.
She knows to let go when she can’t control.
With a smile, she truly believes,
          “What are you going to do?”