BABY STEPS

Fifty-six year old “Lisa” suffers from liver cancer. Lisa is single and has never married. Lisa was told, upon her diagnosis one month ago, that there was no treatment available for her. Lisa is the youngest daughter of seven. Lisa’s sister, “Shelley” says that their father spoiled Lisa. If Lisa didn’t want to do something, she would get angry. Her father always gave in to her.

Lisa has used that anger throughout her life, although has a heart of gold inside. One can see through her rough exterior. Lisa gets attention with her anger, but then she has this gentle side of her that also shines through. She will thank you for coming and always ends the visit with a big, long hug. She is genuinely happy you were there.

During my visit today, Lisa and her sister were in the backyard sitting on the patio. During the course of our conversation, I asked Lisa if she had any fears. She responded in anger not wanting to talk about it. I assured her that hospice’s role is to allow Lisa to do things her way. We will support her throughout this ordeal.

A few moments later, Lisa’s sister went inside. Lisa started talking about another subject, then suddenly asked, “How long do I have”. I answered her as gently as I could. Then, just as suddenly, she changed the subject to something safer. I believe Lisa is coming to terms with what is happening to her. She still uses her anger, but is also processing in the only way she knows how.

Lisa’s sister had previously told me that Lisa is mending bridges as is calling several people with whom she had an angry parting of the ways years ago. Lisa is calling up some selective friends with whom she has been estranged and inviting them over. Lisa is doing what she needs to do. She has some unfinished business that she wants resolved.

I will continue to meet with Lisa weekly. My goal is to help her process her emotions as she needs; one baby step at a time.


BABY STEPS
　

She was spoiled as a child.
She always got what she wanted.
She learned how to use anger
to make things go her way.

They told her she had cancer.
There was nothing to be done.
She is trying to process; to regain control.
It has only been one month.

She cried when I first met her,
“I don’t want to die!”
Then lashes out to her family;
something she can still control.

I asked her if she had any fears.
She snapped, “I don’t want to talk about it”.
I assured her she was in charge of things.
We will support her to do this her way.

Moments later when we were alone,
she suddenly asked, “How much longer do I have?”
I gently shared my thoughts with her.
Then just as quickly, we moved on.

She continues to do things her way.
Showing her heart more than her anger.
I’ll walk along side her cautious pace. 
Doing it her way;
       baby steps;
              slowly,
                     one step at a time.