FULL LIFE

Ninety-nine year old “Elaine” suffers from dementia, although alert and aware. She is very hard of hearing and struggles with conversations around her, although knows her family and has an understanding of her health decline in these recent weeks. Elaine is able to walk slowly, with assistance, using a front-wheel walker. She needs help with all of her activities of daily living.

Elaine is widowed and lives in an Assisted Living Environment. Her husband died eight years ago at the age of ninety-two. Elaine has five adult children of which four live locally. All of her children are supportive to her and each other.

I met Elaine for the first time today. She has beautiful skin and does not look her age at all. She is a smart dresser and looks classy. If I was told she was seventy-five, I would have easily believed it. Her children shared that mom was a very strong, independent soul. Lately though, her children have taken over many responsibilities for mom’s care. Thoughtfully, the children often include mom with decisions that need to be made.

Elaine’s children spoke of mom’s dry sense of humor and how she would laugh so easily. The family teased each other while sharing many family stories. My heart felt sad for Elaine as she couldn’t keep up with the conversation or the laughter. Her face would have a puzzled look at times. One knows that she misses those times when she would be able to participate in the humor.

Elaine has suffered many losses in her ninety-nine years. Now with her recent health decline and dependence, the losses are huge for her. We all have heard someone say, “I want to live to be 100.” It is a huge milestone for anyone to reach that age. Unfortunately, it is typically matched with poor health. I heard someone share one time, “I want to die the day before I become dependent.” That sounds like a great plan to me.


FULL LIFE
　

She is one tough lady
who has lived a full life.
She is nearly one hundred years old,
but looks and acts so much younger.

She took a fall a few weeks ago.
That is when everything changed.
Thankfully no broken bones,
but she is weaker and getting confused.

She needs help throughout her day.
She can’t do anything on her own now.
She graciously accepts what is,
but one still sees that strength inside.

They say she was an independent soul.
She was determined and strong willed.
She raised her children well,
as all are devoted and by her side.

Life is full when one can participate.
Life is full with quality in each day.
She’s lost so much these past few weeks.
Her life has dramatically changed.

I asked her what is the secret
for living such a long and fulfilling life?
One knows she feels it is full enough
when she softly responds,
         “I just want this to be over.”