ACCEPTANCE

Patty, my cousin by marriage, has been suffering from colon cancer for a year and a half. Eighteen months ago, the doctors sent her home to die. That wasn’t the way Patty wanted to do things and so chose to have chemotherapy. The side affects were crippling, but Patty continued on living each day with a smile.

One of the hardest things Patty had to do was step down from her job. Even though all of the family knew that she likely would never be able to go back to work, Patty held out hope that one day she would be able to do so. She has such a positive outlook on life. Even when the chips are down, she will continue to smile and accept life’s challenges.

Ten days ago, Patty was admitted to the hospital. She was so weak that we thought she would die within a few days. Patty rallied and was discharged home three days ago with hospice. Patty needs twenty-four hour care as is bedridden and on a liquid diet due to tumor growth.

A schedule has been set up for family members to be available to stay with Patty. I am off on Mondays and able to sit with Patty each week. I call myself “The Monday Gal” for Patty. It is so different then working with my own patients. This is personal and a whole different ball game. I share with families the power of just being there for someone. Even though I know that, one feels so helpless as I want to make things better for her.

Today Patty was talking about her spiritual beliefs. She has a strong belief in God and the afterlife. I asked her if she had any fears. She smiled and said none at all. She is amazing to me. This recent change has been dramatic and, through it all, she will laugh, smile and appreciate what she has. I am in awe of her. She is teaching me humility, acceptance and grace. I hope I learn well.


ACCEPTANCE
　

As long as I have known her,
she has always been quick to smile.
No matter what cards life has dealt her,
she will unconditionally accept her hand.

She will voluntarily give away her good cards;
all that one has to do, is ask.
She will move on with what cards are left
making the best of her hand that remains.

She got sick eighteen months ago.
She has fought with all that she has.
Smiling with full acceptance.
Obviously handling things her way.

She can no longer eat solid foods.
Everything has to be pureed.
She is bedridden and needs help.
I can’t imagine living this way.

She continues to smile and enjoy her days.
You will hear no complaints from her.
She’ll die the way she has always lived;
with full acceptance of what is to come.