"I DON'T KNOW"

Sixty-nine year old “Laurie” was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer about six months ago. She stopped working two months ago when she became too weak to keep up that pace. Laurie lives with her husband of seventeen years, “Kyle”. Kyle is fifteen years younger than Laurie, but their love is true. Kyle is devoted to Laurie. They have no children and their extended family is few in numbers. Kyle and Laurie belong to a car club with whom they consider family. They have a vintage 1936 Ford parked in their garage in mint condition.

Kyle has been working full time and using his Family Leave time on an intermittent basis. Last week, Laurie took a dramatic change to where she is getting confused and weaker. She can no longer be left alone. Laurie’s sister, “Glenda” has come for a week from out of town to help.

Laurie is restless and not sleeping much. She keeps Kyle up all night with her tossing and turning. She has fallen several times as she keeps trying to get out of bed. Laurie needs to be watched constantly. Kyle is not getting sleep and has decided to stay home full time. He worries about how much leave he has, even though he knows he has about four weeks in his balance.

Laurie has long term care insurance from her employer, but the family had not initiated the application process as Laurie was doing fine. The quick decline has made these details urgent.

I knew Laurie was declining and I called Kyle to see what he needed. He sounded so exhausted and tired, he could not even think. When I asked him what he needed he just didn’t know. He could not even think to answer my offer to make those calls. He needed someone to take charge and to take care of him as well as Laurie. He had no energy left to give.

My heart aches for him as he is drained and grieving so deeply. I will keep in close contact with Kyle with phone calls and visits. Kyle has tremendous support from his car club buddies and, along with his strong Christian faith, I am convinced he will get through the tough times ahead.


“I DON’T KNOW”
　

She’s been sick for a short while.
Her decline has been swift.
She is restless and getting confused.
He just doesn’t know what to do.

He is taking time off work,
but worries about not being paid.
He needs to hire some help
as she can no longer be left alone.

She keeps him up at night;
tossing, turning, getting out of bed.
She is so weak and has had several falls.
He cannot keep this up.

I called and asked what I could do.
I knew he needed some help.
In a weary and exhausted voice, he replied,
“I don’t know”.

I asked if he wanted me to make some calls
to get some help in the home.
In the same fatigued voice, he answered,
“I don’t know”.

I said I would help to get things rolling.
I would gladly make those calls.
In no time at all, things were started.
In an exhausted voice, I softly heard
       an appreciative and lovely
              “Thank you.”