SO EASILY

Seventy-seven year old “Barbara” came onto hospice with a recent diagnosis of pancreatic cancer. She had a short trial of chemotherapy which was not successful as her tumor continued to grow.

Barbara has been widowed for eight years. She speaks so lovingly of her late husband while sharing stories of their life together. Barbara has strong Catholic beliefs and knows that she will be with him again soon. Barbara has three adult children. Her daughter just returned home to another state after a ten day visit. She plans on returning soon to be available to her mother. Another son lives out of the country, but is routinely staying connected via the telephone. Barbara’s youngest son lives with her in the family home. He works full time, but is planning on using his family leave when needed.

On my first visit to the home, Barbara met me at the front door and warmly welcomed me into her home. She was so warm and genuine that one instantly is taken with her. She is so engaging that the moment I met her, it was like we had known each other for years. We had an instant connection as we both had similar beliefs about life and death. I know that if we had met in another situation, we most definitely would have become fast friends.

My relationship with Barbara and her family is, and always will be, the hospice social worker. I could never become friends with a patient or their family members, as I would always be “mom’s social worker”. My role would not allow me to free up to be me as I would always have my social worker hat on to help them when an eventual need would arise.

I have met so many amazing people during my work with hospice. I appreciate the time I have with them and feel grateful that our paths have crossed, even if only for a little while. Cancer is such a random disease and so easily, I or any of my colleagues, could hear the same diagnosis from our own doctors. It makes one grateful for their health and to recognize each day as a blessing.

I feel honored to have met Barbara and look forward to our time together, as long as it is. She is a gift to all for as long as she is here.


SO EASILY
　

The moment I crossed the threshold,
I felt welcomed and invited in.
Her words were so heartfelt; so warm
as she greeted me by her front door.

I instantly knew we would get along fine.
I knew we were on the same page.
She was so easy to talk to; to listen to.
She spoke with the love from her heart.

She was straightforward and frank.
She got right to the point of how things are.
Her struggle with a horrid disease.
Her sadness of what is to come.

She is such an independent soul.
She’s used to being on her own.
She was the one always helping others.
It’s so hard now to ask for help.

I see myself in her actions.
I hear myself in her words.
I understand her struggles; her fears.
So easily, it could have been me.

If only the situation were different.
If only we had met some other way.
Strong chemistry; strong connection.
Most likely we would have been friends;
          so easily.