MEANT TO BE

Sixty-nine year old “Jim” was diagnosed a few weeks ago with pancreatic cancer. The cancer has already spread with no treatment options available for him. Jim lives with “Gina”, his significant other of seven months.

Gina and Jim met in high school while teenagers. They were best friends and enjoyed each other’s company. After graduation, both went their separate ways. Both married and divorced. Jim has three children; while Gina has one daughter. Jim’s children live nearby and are very close to their father and like Gina a lot.

Jim came onto hospice last week. I went out to meet the couple and to explain my role on the hospice team. The first thing I noticed was Jim’s engaging smile and Gina’s devotion to him. They are so cute together as they kiss and hold hands. Their love is pure and true. It was during this visit when they shared how they met, became separated for decades and met up again through Facebook.

Gina worries so much about Jim and cherishes each moment they have. Part of my role as a hospice social worker, is to give the caregiver support. I encourage caregivers to remember to take care of themselves as, rather frequently, they will put their needs on the back burner as the patient’s needs are quite often more urgent. I spoke about respite support that is available through hospice. Gina would have none of this. She cherishes each moment with Jim and plans on being by his side throughout. This is what sustains her.

Gina started to cry softly when speaking about life after Jim is gone. She has good supports from her daughter and friends, but likely won’t reach out. She shared that her friends call her, while she doesn’t pick up the phone ever to call them. For Gina, rediscovering her love and then having it snatched away it extremely painful for her. She is grieving her life today and her future without Jim. I plan on visiting weekly; more to give Gina support with her grieving. Fortunately, hospice has an extensive bereavement follow up support that Gina, hopefully, will take advantage of.

 
MEANT TO BE
　

They were meant to be together.
It was written in the stars.
Meeting in high school so long ago.
Best friends right from the start.

They each went their separate ways.
Marriage; children; divorce.
Both struggling with unhealthy relationships.
Not having someone to make them whole.

By sheer chance they met up again.
The spark between them instantly ignited.
Best friends; soul mates.
Seven months ago, he moved in.

At last, the two of them side by side.
Days full of heavenly bliss.
Making up for the time they had lost.
So obvious they were meant to be together.

A new diagnosis of cancer.
Prognosis poor.
Trying to grasp each new day.
Savoring what soon will be gone.

She feels it is so unfair.
To lose him while they’ve just begun.
She’s not ready to let him go.
“We were meant to be.”