WHEN I NEED YOU

Eighty year old “Dolores” suffered from lung cancer that had spread to her liver. Dolores was widowed and lived with her daughter. She had one other daughter who lived about five hours north. Dolores had such a gregarious personality, that everyone just loved her. Her family was very close and devoted to her. Not surprisingly, she also had many friends in her life.

Dolores was admitted to hospice while I was away on a two week vacation. When I returned, I made an appointment to go out to meet her and to see how I could help her. The moment I walked into the door, she wanted to know all about my vacation. She was so interested in others, but also would share these amazing stories about her own life. She had a great sense of humor which was sprinkled throughout her stories.

On that first visit, I explained my role on the hospice team and ways in which I could help her. She said that she didn’t need anything right at the moment, but would let me know when she needs me.

I only made three visits to her home. On the first two visits, we just talked about life and adventures. A big part of the role of the hospice social worker is relationship building. These conversations helped me get to know Dolores better in order to assist her, when needed, in the future.

Dolores stopped eating six days before she died. Over a weekend she declined so quickly to where she became unresponsive. I called the family to set up a time to visit and we agreed on noon the following day. I later heard from the chaplain that the family thought I was coming at ten that day. I rearranged my schedule as I had a feeling that the sooner I could get out there, the better. The hospice nurse showed up about thirty minutes into my visit. I believe the family confused my visit time with the nurses.

I walked into a house full of family and friends. Dolores was in a hospital bed in the living room. She was in a coma with labored breathing. I was able to offer support to all of her family and friends. Before I left, I was also able to say goodbye to Dolores. An hour later, Dolores’s daughter called me to say that she had died.

I left a message about Dolores’s death on our chaplain’s phone as I knew he was headed over to her home. He called me later to say he walked in five minutes after she had died. He was then able to offer well needed spiritual support to the family.

It got me to thinking that Dolores did tell us when she needed us to come. If I had come at my original scheduled time of noon, the chaplain and I would have been there at the same time. Being available separately at those particular times somehow seemed like the best way to give the most effective support. Dolores did tell us when she needed us there.


WHEN I NEED YOU


One couldn’t help but love her
the moment you walked through her door.
She was social, she was gregarious.
She welcomed you into her home.

I told her how I could assist her.
I told her about the hospice team.
How we would walk along side of her
easing the way that best fit her needs.

She said she’d ask when she needs us,
but for now, she was doing quite well.
So we spent time sharing stories about family,
about friends and everything else.

The end came quite suddenly.
It caught everyone by surprise.
I planned on visiting at noon that day,
but the family thought I said ten.

I knew they could use some help,
so I switched my schedule around.
I was then available to comfort her family.
An hour later, she was gone.

The chaplain showed up soon after she died.
He blessed her on her way.
He was then able to pray with the family.
Something so helpful at that crucial time.

The timing for all was perfectly set.
I know it was directed by her.
She called us all there one after the other,
as today was the day
she needed us.