CHARLIE

Sixty-seven year old “Duane” suffers from colon cancer. Duane lives with his wife, “Barb”, their adult daughter and son-in-law, plus three boarders. Duane and Barb have been married 49 years, although their relationship has been rocky at times. They have lived apart many of those years and have dated others, but both have always felt emotionally married.

Duane moved back in with Barb a few weeks ago when his health started to decline; whereas he was needing more help. Duane and Barb have owned boarding homes over the years, renting to disabled adults. Because of this, Barb is an excellent caregiver for Duane.

I went out to do a routine visit today and sat down with Duane to check in as to how he was doing. Due to tumor growth, his stomach is swollen, but he is good natured about his situation. He patted his stomach and said that he calls his cancer “Charlie”. Duane uses a lot of humor to cope. He has no fears about dying and has accepted his fate. He shares that there is not much he can do about it.

Barb and Duane are both strong willed with personalities that often clash, but one can see the love they have for each other. They met in high school and married when both were quite young. They have a lifelong commitment to each other and Barb will support Duane until the end.

The family is very open with their feelings toward each other, good and bad. It makes for a lively household which works for all. 


CHARLIE


He named his tumor Charlie.
He thought a fitting name.
It helped him put a handle on things.
It helped him direct his thoughts.

He is never angry at Charlie,
but he tells him how he feels.
How he has come and disrupted things;
how he has yanked his life around.

He talks to Charlie all the time,
using humor to ease the pain.
He knows it won’t change the inevitable,
but it is something he can do.

He knows his future if grim.
He knows his time is short,
but sharing his thoughts with Charlie this way
gives a feeling of some control.

So he’ll continue to talk to Charlie,
as Charlie continues to grow.
He’ll live his life the best he can,
until Charlie is no more.