SHE REMEMBERS

Sixty year old “Leann” was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer six months ago. Leann has such a positive and gregarious attitude toward life. She has had some difficult times as was diagnosed with diabetes as a young teenager. She has always accepted her life’s challenges without complaint.

Leann lives with her husband, “Bob”. They have been married thirty years. They have no children, but Leann has a large, extended family nearby. When her family gets together, all one can hear is laughter, noise and lots of commotion. Leann’s family has always been very open about their feelings and emotions. The family easily talks about Leann’s diagnosis and poor prognosis.

When I went out to do a visit today, Leann shared the story about the moment she learned she had cancer. She related, as she calls it, the “prescience moment.” She then laughed as she thought how ironic that the word prescience means insightful in a spiritual way, which she felt was the exact opposite of the meaning of science, which is based on fact.

She said the occurrence in the emergency room has given her peace and comfort as she knows where she is going and that it is going to be amazing. She knows she would have had many fears by now without that experience.

Our conversation turned to her beliefs about life and what she felt was important. With a grin, she shared what she thought the question that one will be asked by God when entering heaven will be “What color do you want your mansion to be?” She then turned serious and said that the question is, “What regrets do you have about what you have done and what regrets do you have about what you didn’t do?”


SHE REMEMBERS


She remembers the moment she was diagnosed.
She remembers the date and the exact time.
She remembers lying on a gurney in the ER
hearing the doctor say they found a mass.

She remembers feeling total peace.
Wrapped in a glorious embrace.
All over, throughout and within.
A golden love she’ll never forget.

He was watching her face, worrying
as the doctors shared the bad news.
A subtle change came over her face.
He saw tranquility, an inner glow.

They gave her less than four months.
They said nothing could be done.
Chemo may slow down the growth,
but in the end, the cancer will win.

Each day she remembers that special moment.
The embrace from something beyond.
She believes a preview of what’s waiting for her.
Without it, fears would have already come.

Six months later she’s a bit weaker.
Her appetite’s poor, she’s slowing down,
but her inner peace continues strong
as she knows where she’s going
and the beauty beyond.

She remembers.