MAKING PLANS

Forty-five year old “Laurie” was diagnosed with breast cancer nine years ago when she was just thirty-six. She recently came onto hospice as her cancer has now spread to her bones, liver and lungs. Laurie is on continuous oxygen as gets short of breath with any activity.

Laurie has been married to “Jack” for thirteen years. They have an eleven year old daughter, “Julie.” Laurie’s sister, “Cindy” is visiting from the east coast with plans on staying as long as needed. Laurie has no other family, although Jack’s family lives nearby and are very involved and supportive.

Cindy answered the phone when I called to set up my first visit. Immediately the conversation turned to Julie and how best to talk with her about what is going on with her mother. The family’s focus is all on Julie and her needs.

When I went out to meet with the family, Laurie was sleeping in the bedroom. Jack, Cindy and I spoke in the living room. I gave them a lot of guidance and information about how best to help themselves and Julie through this difficult time.

During the course of our conversation, Jack started sharing the history of Laurie’s disease. How through it all, Laurie knew that one day she would lose her battle. She started talking with Julie’s school teachers, other parents and her friends about how best to help Julie after she is gone. She made arrangements for someone to pick up Julie after school as she knew her husband would not be able to do so because of his work schedule. Laurie also arranged for someone to help Julie with homework, drive her to sport practices etc.

While Jack was sharing Laurie’s stories, I was impressed how someone so young could be so mature. When we all went back to the bedroom to meet with Laurie, she was very sleepy and did not say much as she kept dozing on and off. Jack says that Laurie gets confused at times and has a hard time focusing on the conversation.

There is a lot of love and maturity in this family. I believe that Laurie’s time is close and hopefully she has some comfort knowing that her daughter will always have someone around to help her through some tough times ahead.


MAKING PLANS


She’s been planning this for years.
She knew the time would one day come
when her daughter would need some assistance;
she would need a helping hand.

She knew she likely wouldn’t be around
to see her daughter’s growing years,
so she started getting organized.
She started to make some plans.

She spoke with other parents.
She spoke with all her friends.
She arranged for after-school pickup.
She made sure someone would always be there.

She did this systematically,
never thinking of herself.
Her focus always on her daughter.
Making sure she would never be without.

Her husband proudly tells her story
of the diagnosis nine years ago.
How through years of difficult treatment,
she would always focus on others, never herself.

She is an amazing person.
Wise well beyond her years.
I hope one day her daughter will appreciate,
her daughter will know
that it was her mother’s love,
her mother’s planning,
that paved her way.