DOUBT

“Maureen“, sixty, suffered from ovarian cancer. She recently moved into her son’s home to get the help she needed from her family. Her aunt was with her during the day while “Keith“, her son, worked. Keith and his sister then took over the care for their mother on evenings and the weekends.

When I went out to do my initial visit, it was apparent how much Keith loved his mom. He didn’t say much, but his behavior showed how much he cared. He was very attentive to any need she had. She didn’t have to ask him for anything as he had the instinct to know just how to help her.

Keith underwent brain surgery himself one year ago. He has recovered well and is doing great. I am sure that experience helped him understand his mother’s needs. Maureen was only on hospice for a few short weeks. She declined rapidly and died peacefully on a Sunday morning with her family at her bedside.

Part of my role as a social worker is to follow up and call families to offer condolences and support after a death. When I spoke with Keith he sounded so sad. He was able to talk about his feelings and how much he missed his mom. He shared that he had doubts about the afterlife. He was raised Catholic, but did not believe in a lot of the church’s doctrine.

His mother had a strong belief in the afterlife, but Keith feared that he would not see her again. He hoped that there was an afterlife. He said there is no proof of, if anything, what the afterlife is all about.

I stated that his mother may no longer be with him in the physical sense, but her spirit will remain forever. I shared that anytime he thought of his mother, he was embraced by her spirit. It was then that he shared the story about the blinds in her bedroom. That experience did not erase his doubt, but hopefully, in time, it will help him find his peace.


DOUBT


There was never any doubt
how much he loved his mother.
He was there until the end
caring for her; showing his love.

She raised him to believe in God.
She taught him all about heaven.
How loved ones are reunited
when their journeys have come to an end.

Now that she is gone,
he worries about being alone.
Will he be with her again?
Is what she said the truth?

He has doubts about the afterlife.
He has doubts he’ll see her again.
He questions the teachings he learned as a boy.
He doesn’t know what to believe.

He hoped to find some comfort
so he laid down in her room.
He thought if he slept in her bed,
he might feel her near.

As he laid down he said, “Goodnight Mom”.
He didn’t know if she would hear.
A moment later the shades waved.
He hoped that it was her.

He’ll continue to have some doubts
as he knows nothing can be proven.
Maybe one day when his life is done
all will become crystal clear.
He’ll know all the answers of life
and hopefully then
he’ll no longer have
any doubt.