HIS MOM

Fifty-seven year old "Darla" was diagnosed with lung cancer. She came onto hospice as the cancer had spread to her brain causing a stroke, which left her paralyzed on her right side. Darla had been living with her twenty-one year old son, "Shawn". Darla had divorced Shawn's father over fourteen years ago.

Shawn has a learning disability and had been in special education classes while in school. He is devoted to his mother and has not yet been out in the world to experience any challenges alone. He quit a job three years ago to take care of his mother after her lung cancer diagnosis.

After the stroke, Darla was admitted into a Skilled Nursing Facility for end-of-life care. Shawn is overwhelmed by the emotions of losing his mother. Her personality has changed to where she has become demanding. Shawn hates to visit his mother now as this is not the mother he knows.

When I first met with Shawn, he was asking about state funding to support him financially. His rent bill is late and he owes money to the nursing facility. I spoke with Shawn about some avenues where he may get some help thinking, at the time, that he may not have the maturity to accomplish that without additional assistance.

The following week I met with Shawn again at his mother's facility. Shawn had followed up with the options we previously discussed. He had been successful in those endeavors. I was really proud of him. I felt that I was witnessing him mature right in front of my eyes.

A single tear flowed down his right cheek as he shared that he wanted things to be over. These emotions were new to him and he struggled with how to handle them. I referred him to one of our bereavement counselors as he says that his girlfriend is supportive, but he needed someone older to talk with. He needs a mom.

He is a young man that would make any mother proud. I told him that the best way to keep his mother's legacy alive is to be that wonderful man she raised. Darla died one week later after being on hospice for only three weeks.


HIS MOM

It's been just him and his mom
for more than fourteen years.
The two have been through a lot.
His mom and he.

He's too young to be losing her.
He's twenty-one, but just a boy.
A single tear flows down his cheek
when he thinks of life without her.

These feelings are all new to him.
The pain is way too deep.
His girlfriend is supportive,
but now he really needs his mom.

It's hard to visit her now
as the cancer has invaded her brain.
She's not the mother that he knows.
Her personality has changed.

He's ready for it to be over.
Her last gift to him is time.
He'll move on with his life,
but he'll never forget
the one who raised him
to be a man.

His mom.