"Jim", eighty-four years old, suffered from end stage cardiac disease. His doctor referred him to hospice as he had been declining recently. Jim was widowed twelve years ago, the same time that his son died from leukemia. Jim's remaining son, "Ron" lived nearby and was very devoted to his father. The family hired full time attendant care through Jim's long term care insurance to assist Jim with his daily needs. Even though there was help in the home, Ron visited daily.
Ron's wife, "Janet" worried about Ron as she felt that he had never dealt with his mother's or brother's death. Janet said that Ron never cried or grieved over these losses. I spoke about grief and individual strategies for processing cumulative loss. Ron then started to talk about his deceased family members. One could see the pain in his eyes.
Earlier, I had found a copper penny on the driveway as I was walking up to their front door. I picked it up and had a sense that there was a purpose for my find. Some believe, as do I, that finding a copper penny is a message from a departed loved one letting you know that they are okay. I have experienced and witnessed many moments validating this phenomenon.
I put the penny in my pocket and had forgotten about it as I was focused on educating Jim and his family about hospice services that were available. I also wanted to assess how the family was coping and what supports they had.
I remembered the penny in my pocket once Ron started to talk about his mother and brother. I spoke about the meaning of finding a copper penny and shared that I had found one in front of their home on my way to their front door. I pulled it out of my pocket and told Ron that it was from his mother and brother. I had a strong feeling of love, calmness and joy while handing him the penny. Ron teared up, hugged and thanked me for giving him such a priceless gift.
ANOTHER PENNY
I found another penny
on my way into their home.
I knew there was a purpose,
but what, I did not know.
His father's rapid decline
triggered memories of long ago.
Painful wounds resurfaced.
Old feelings suddenly fresh.
He spoke about his grief.
How keeping busy avoids the pain.
He misses his mother and brother.
He thinks of them every day.
I handed him the penny
that I found outside his home.
I knew it was from his family
as I felt tranquility, love and joy.
Was it just my imagination?
Was it a message from above?
Somehow it really doesn't matter
as we both know it to be true.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Saturday, October 23, 2010
GUIDED FROM ABOVE
I experience many coincidences during the course of my work day. I do not believe they are coincidences as I believe these moments are directed from above. I feel God's presence when a plan works perfectly.
I have a new patient, "Mike". Mike is fifty-seven years old and suffers from end stage cardiac disease. He resides in a Residential Care Facility as he has alienated his family and friends due to a long history of drug and alcohol abuse. He has no visitors as his only contact is his sister who resides in another state. Mike has limited funds and needed a new battery for his cell phone as the one he had would no longer take a charge.
His cell phone is his lifeline to his sister, his only support person. Hospice has donated funds that can be used for these type of situations. I wanted to purchase Mike a new battery. There were no identifying numbers on his cell phone, so I traced the battery on a piece of paper to be able to know the exact size he needed.
As I drove away from Mike's facility, I was trying to figure out where I could go to get him a new cell battery. It was a Friday afternoon and I knew the earliest I could get back to him was the following Tuesday. I really wanted to get him a battery as soon as I could as I knew how important it was to him.
I was about ten minutes away from his place when I saw a small strip mall. On impulse, I drove into the parking lot. I thought it would be a good spot to use my GPS to find the nearest phone store. I parked my car and looked around the area before using the GPS. Surprisingly I saw a Metro PCS phone center a few stores away. I went in and asked about batteries. The clerk stated that he needed the number off the telephone. He informed me that the number was under the battery casing. He said if the patient had Metro PCS, he would easily find out which battery is needed. Knowing that Verizon and AT&T are the most popular providers, I had my doubts that this would work.
I called Mike and he said that he did have Metro PCS as his phone service. He gave me permission to give the clerk his name. I was able to return to the store and purchase the correct battery. Because I was still close to where Mike lived, I had time to take him his battery and still make my next appointment.
Mike was so moved that he hugged me and said, "I love you". I was also very moved as I knew it meant so much to him. The process just flowed and the timing was perfect. These are the moments when I feel God's presence.
GUIDED FROM ABOVE
People ask why I do what I do.
They think it would be hard.
But I touch God each and every day
as I am guided from above.
He leads me where I need to go.
He guides me through my days.
The timing somehow is always perfect.
I know I do not work alone.
It has to be guidance from above.
I sense His surroundings.
I know He is there.
A soft whisper,
a gentle touch,
to lead me on my way.
It happens too often to be a coincidence.
Placing me in the right place at the right time.
Thank you God for your perfection.
For your guidance from above.
I have a new patient, "Mike". Mike is fifty-seven years old and suffers from end stage cardiac disease. He resides in a Residential Care Facility as he has alienated his family and friends due to a long history of drug and alcohol abuse. He has no visitors as his only contact is his sister who resides in another state. Mike has limited funds and needed a new battery for his cell phone as the one he had would no longer take a charge.
His cell phone is his lifeline to his sister, his only support person. Hospice has donated funds that can be used for these type of situations. I wanted to purchase Mike a new battery. There were no identifying numbers on his cell phone, so I traced the battery on a piece of paper to be able to know the exact size he needed.
As I drove away from Mike's facility, I was trying to figure out where I could go to get him a new cell battery. It was a Friday afternoon and I knew the earliest I could get back to him was the following Tuesday. I really wanted to get him a battery as soon as I could as I knew how important it was to him.
I was about ten minutes away from his place when I saw a small strip mall. On impulse, I drove into the parking lot. I thought it would be a good spot to use my GPS to find the nearest phone store. I parked my car and looked around the area before using the GPS. Surprisingly I saw a Metro PCS phone center a few stores away. I went in and asked about batteries. The clerk stated that he needed the number off the telephone. He informed me that the number was under the battery casing. He said if the patient had Metro PCS, he would easily find out which battery is needed. Knowing that Verizon and AT&T are the most popular providers, I had my doubts that this would work.
I called Mike and he said that he did have Metro PCS as his phone service. He gave me permission to give the clerk his name. I was able to return to the store and purchase the correct battery. Because I was still close to where Mike lived, I had time to take him his battery and still make my next appointment.
Mike was so moved that he hugged me and said, "I love you". I was also very moved as I knew it meant so much to him. The process just flowed and the timing was perfect. These are the moments when I feel God's presence.
GUIDED FROM ABOVE
People ask why I do what I do.
They think it would be hard.
But I touch God each and every day
as I am guided from above.
He leads me where I need to go.
He guides me through my days.
The timing somehow is always perfect.
I know I do not work alone.
It has to be guidance from above.
I sense His surroundings.
I know He is there.
A soft whisper,
a gentle touch,
to lead me on my way.
It happens too often to be a coincidence.
Placing me in the right place at the right time.
Thank you God for your perfection.
For your guidance from above.
Monday, October 18, 2010
HIS OBITUARY
My friend Ray was diagnosed three months ago with bile duct cancer. He has been through radiation and chemotherapy without much success. He is not eating much at all and has lost over forty pounds during this time. He is now on hospice as he is so weak and is declining quickly.
Judy, his wife, is a very close friend. We have talked weekly on the phone for years as they live in another state. It is our way of staying in touch. Judy and Ray have lots of supportive family and friends who have been visiting. I will be visiting in two weeks for three days. I have been looking forward to the trip as I have this strong need to give my friends a huge hug.
As Judy and I were talking tonight on the phone, she asked me if I would write Ray's obituary while I was visiting. I instantly had tears as I felt so honored to be asked. But then, I felt a huge responsibility as I was wondering if I was up to the task. I have known Ray for one-third of his life and realize that there is a lot about him that I just don't know. My plan is to sit down and talk with him about his childhood, his dreams, his legacy.
I know Judy trusts me to be able to do this. I pray I don't let her down.
HIS OBITUARY
She said she had something to ask me.
She says its been on her mind.
She asked me to write his obituary.
The one thing she just cannot do.
I told her that I would be honored.
I told her that I was deeply moved.
I will do my best to document his life
in the fitting way he so truly deserves.
What can one say in a few paragraphs
that captures the years of his life?
He's a husband, a father, a hard working man.
He also is an amazing friend.
He is proud of his classic GTO.
He's won "Best in Show" many times.
He'll always have chips and salsa nearby
while cheering on his Miami team.
It's clear he'll be missed by many.
Probably more than I'll ever know.
He's leaving an amazing mark while here.
I hope I can capture it all.
Judy, his wife, is a very close friend. We have talked weekly on the phone for years as they live in another state. It is our way of staying in touch. Judy and Ray have lots of supportive family and friends who have been visiting. I will be visiting in two weeks for three days. I have been looking forward to the trip as I have this strong need to give my friends a huge hug.
As Judy and I were talking tonight on the phone, she asked me if I would write Ray's obituary while I was visiting. I instantly had tears as I felt so honored to be asked. But then, I felt a huge responsibility as I was wondering if I was up to the task. I have known Ray for one-third of his life and realize that there is a lot about him that I just don't know. My plan is to sit down and talk with him about his childhood, his dreams, his legacy.
I know Judy trusts me to be able to do this. I pray I don't let her down.
HIS OBITUARY
She said she had something to ask me.
She says its been on her mind.
She asked me to write his obituary.
The one thing she just cannot do.
I told her that I would be honored.
I told her that I was deeply moved.
I will do my best to document his life
in the fitting way he so truly deserves.
What can one say in a few paragraphs
that captures the years of his life?
He's a husband, a father, a hard working man.
He also is an amazing friend.
He is proud of his classic GTO.
He's won "Best in Show" many times.
He'll always have chips and salsa nearby
while cheering on his Miami team.
It's clear he'll be missed by many.
Probably more than I'll ever know.
He's leaving an amazing mark while here.
I hope I can capture it all.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
HIS MOM
Fifty-seven year old "Darla" was diagnosed with lung cancer. She came onto hospice as the cancer had spread to her brain causing a stroke, which left her paralyzed on her right side. Darla had been living with her twenty-one year old son, "Shawn". Darla had divorced Shawn's father over fourteen years ago.
Shawn has a learning disability and had been in special education classes while in school. He is devoted to his mother and has not yet been out in the world to experience any challenges alone. He quit a job three years ago to take care of his mother after her lung cancer diagnosis.
After the stroke, Darla was admitted into a Skilled Nursing Facility for end-of-life care. Shawn is overwhelmed by the emotions of losing his mother. Her personality has changed to where she has become demanding. Shawn hates to visit his mother now as this is not the mother he knows.
When I first met with Shawn, he was asking about state funding to support him financially. His rent bill is late and he owes money to the nursing facility. I spoke with Shawn about some avenues where he may get some help thinking, at the time, that he may not have the maturity to accomplish that without additional assistance.
The following week I met with Shawn again at his mother's facility. Shawn had followed up with the options we previously discussed. He had been successful in those endeavors. I was really proud of him. I felt that I was witnessing him mature right in front of my eyes.
A single tear flowed down his right cheek as he shared that he wanted things to be over. These emotions were new to him and he struggled with how to handle them. I referred him to one of our bereavement counselors as he says that his girlfriend is supportive, but he needed someone older to talk with. He needs a mom.
He is a young man that would make any mother proud. I told him that the best way to keep his mother's legacy alive is to be that wonderful man she raised. Darla died one week later after being on hospice for only three weeks.
HIS MOM
It's been just him and his mom
for more than fourteen years.
The two have been through a lot.
His mom and he.
He's too young to be losing her.
He's twenty-one, but just a boy.
A single tear flows down his cheek
when he thinks of life without her.
These feelings are all new to him.
The pain is way too deep.
His girlfriend is supportive,
but now he really needs his mom.
It's hard to visit her now
as the cancer has invaded her brain.
She's not the mother that he knows.
Her personality has changed.
He's ready for it to be over.
Her last gift to him is time.
He'll move on with his life,
but he'll never forget
the one who raised him
to be a man.
His mom.
Shawn has a learning disability and had been in special education classes while in school. He is devoted to his mother and has not yet been out in the world to experience any challenges alone. He quit a job three years ago to take care of his mother after her lung cancer diagnosis.
After the stroke, Darla was admitted into a Skilled Nursing Facility for end-of-life care. Shawn is overwhelmed by the emotions of losing his mother. Her personality has changed to where she has become demanding. Shawn hates to visit his mother now as this is not the mother he knows.
When I first met with Shawn, he was asking about state funding to support him financially. His rent bill is late and he owes money to the nursing facility. I spoke with Shawn about some avenues where he may get some help thinking, at the time, that he may not have the maturity to accomplish that without additional assistance.
The following week I met with Shawn again at his mother's facility. Shawn had followed up with the options we previously discussed. He had been successful in those endeavors. I was really proud of him. I felt that I was witnessing him mature right in front of my eyes.
A single tear flowed down his right cheek as he shared that he wanted things to be over. These emotions were new to him and he struggled with how to handle them. I referred him to one of our bereavement counselors as he says that his girlfriend is supportive, but he needed someone older to talk with. He needs a mom.
He is a young man that would make any mother proud. I told him that the best way to keep his mother's legacy alive is to be that wonderful man she raised. Darla died one week later after being on hospice for only three weeks.
HIS MOM
It's been just him and his mom
for more than fourteen years.
The two have been through a lot.
His mom and he.
He's too young to be losing her.
He's twenty-one, but just a boy.
A single tear flows down his cheek
when he thinks of life without her.
These feelings are all new to him.
The pain is way too deep.
His girlfriend is supportive,
but now he really needs his mom.
It's hard to visit her now
as the cancer has invaded her brain.
She's not the mother that he knows.
Her personality has changed.
He's ready for it to be over.
Her last gift to him is time.
He'll move on with his life,
but he'll never forget
the one who raised him
to be a man.
His mom.
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