I experience many coincidences during the course of my work day. I do not believe they are coincidences as I believe these moments are directed from above. I feel God's presence when a plan works perfectly.
I have a new patient, "Mike". Mike is fifty-seven years old and suffers from end stage cardiac disease. He resides in a Residential Care Facility as he has alienated his family and friends due to a long history of drug and alcohol abuse. He has no visitors as his only contact is his sister who resides in another state. Mike has limited funds and needed a new battery for his cell phone as the one he had would no longer take a charge.
His cell phone is his lifeline to his sister, his only support person. Hospice has donated funds that can be used for these type of situations. I wanted to purchase Mike a new battery. There were no identifying numbers on his cell phone, so I traced the battery on a piece of paper to be able to know the exact size he needed.
As I drove away from Mike's facility, I was trying to figure out where I could go to get him a new cell battery. It was a Friday afternoon and I knew the earliest I could get back to him was the following Tuesday. I really wanted to get him a battery as soon as I could as I knew how important it was to him.
I was about ten minutes away from his place when I saw a small strip mall. On impulse, I drove into the parking lot. I thought it would be a good spot to use my GPS to find the nearest phone store. I parked my car and looked around the area before using the GPS. Surprisingly I saw a Metro PCS phone center a few stores away. I went in and asked about batteries. The clerk stated that he needed the number off the telephone. He informed me that the number was under the battery casing. He said if the patient had Metro PCS, he would easily find out which battery is needed. Knowing that Verizon and AT&T are the most popular providers, I had my doubts that this would work.
I called Mike and he said that he did have Metro PCS as his phone service. He gave me permission to give the clerk his name. I was able to return to the store and purchase the correct battery. Because I was still close to where Mike lived, I had time to take him his battery and still make my next appointment.
Mike was so moved that he hugged me and said, "I love you". I was also very moved as I knew it meant so much to him. The process just flowed and the timing was perfect. These are the moments when I feel God's presence.
GUIDED FROM ABOVE
People ask why I do what I do.
They think it would be hard.
But I touch God each and every day
as I am guided from above.
He leads me where I need to go.
He guides me through my days.
The timing somehow is always perfect.
I know I do not work alone.
It has to be guidance from above.
I sense His surroundings.
I know He is there.
A soft whisper,
a gentle touch,
to lead me on my way.
It happens too often to be a coincidence.
Placing me in the right place at the right time.
Thank you God for your perfection.
For your guidance from above.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
HIS OBITUARY
My friend Ray was diagnosed three months ago with bile duct cancer. He has been through radiation and chemotherapy without much success. He is not eating much at all and has lost over forty pounds during this time. He is now on hospice as he is so weak and is declining quickly.
Judy, his wife, is a very close friend. We have talked weekly on the phone for years as they live in another state. It is our way of staying in touch. Judy and Ray have lots of supportive family and friends who have been visiting. I will be visiting in two weeks for three days. I have been looking forward to the trip as I have this strong need to give my friends a huge hug.
As Judy and I were talking tonight on the phone, she asked me if I would write Ray's obituary while I was visiting. I instantly had tears as I felt so honored to be asked. But then, I felt a huge responsibility as I was wondering if I was up to the task. I have known Ray for one-third of his life and realize that there is a lot about him that I just don't know. My plan is to sit down and talk with him about his childhood, his dreams, his legacy.
I know Judy trusts me to be able to do this. I pray I don't let her down.
HIS OBITUARY
She said she had something to ask me.
She says its been on her mind.
She asked me to write his obituary.
The one thing she just cannot do.
I told her that I would be honored.
I told her that I was deeply moved.
I will do my best to document his life
in the fitting way he so truly deserves.
What can one say in a few paragraphs
that captures the years of his life?
He's a husband, a father, a hard working man.
He also is an amazing friend.
He is proud of his classic GTO.
He's won "Best in Show" many times.
He'll always have chips and salsa nearby
while cheering on his Miami team.
It's clear he'll be missed by many.
Probably more than I'll ever know.
He's leaving an amazing mark while here.
I hope I can capture it all.
Judy, his wife, is a very close friend. We have talked weekly on the phone for years as they live in another state. It is our way of staying in touch. Judy and Ray have lots of supportive family and friends who have been visiting. I will be visiting in two weeks for three days. I have been looking forward to the trip as I have this strong need to give my friends a huge hug.
As Judy and I were talking tonight on the phone, she asked me if I would write Ray's obituary while I was visiting. I instantly had tears as I felt so honored to be asked. But then, I felt a huge responsibility as I was wondering if I was up to the task. I have known Ray for one-third of his life and realize that there is a lot about him that I just don't know. My plan is to sit down and talk with him about his childhood, his dreams, his legacy.
I know Judy trusts me to be able to do this. I pray I don't let her down.
HIS OBITUARY
She said she had something to ask me.
She says its been on her mind.
She asked me to write his obituary.
The one thing she just cannot do.
I told her that I would be honored.
I told her that I was deeply moved.
I will do my best to document his life
in the fitting way he so truly deserves.
What can one say in a few paragraphs
that captures the years of his life?
He's a husband, a father, a hard working man.
He also is an amazing friend.
He is proud of his classic GTO.
He's won "Best in Show" many times.
He'll always have chips and salsa nearby
while cheering on his Miami team.
It's clear he'll be missed by many.
Probably more than I'll ever know.
He's leaving an amazing mark while here.
I hope I can capture it all.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
HIS MOM
Fifty-seven year old "Darla" was diagnosed with lung cancer. She came onto hospice as the cancer had spread to her brain causing a stroke, which left her paralyzed on her right side. Darla had been living with her twenty-one year old son, "Shawn". Darla had divorced Shawn's father over fourteen years ago.
Shawn has a learning disability and had been in special education classes while in school. He is devoted to his mother and has not yet been out in the world to experience any challenges alone. He quit a job three years ago to take care of his mother after her lung cancer diagnosis.
After the stroke, Darla was admitted into a Skilled Nursing Facility for end-of-life care. Shawn is overwhelmed by the emotions of losing his mother. Her personality has changed to where she has become demanding. Shawn hates to visit his mother now as this is not the mother he knows.
When I first met with Shawn, he was asking about state funding to support him financially. His rent bill is late and he owes money to the nursing facility. I spoke with Shawn about some avenues where he may get some help thinking, at the time, that he may not have the maturity to accomplish that without additional assistance.
The following week I met with Shawn again at his mother's facility. Shawn had followed up with the options we previously discussed. He had been successful in those endeavors. I was really proud of him. I felt that I was witnessing him mature right in front of my eyes.
A single tear flowed down his right cheek as he shared that he wanted things to be over. These emotions were new to him and he struggled with how to handle them. I referred him to one of our bereavement counselors as he says that his girlfriend is supportive, but he needed someone older to talk with. He needs a mom.
He is a young man that would make any mother proud. I told him that the best way to keep his mother's legacy alive is to be that wonderful man she raised. Darla died one week later after being on hospice for only three weeks.
HIS MOM
It's been just him and his mom
for more than fourteen years.
The two have been through a lot.
His mom and he.
He's too young to be losing her.
He's twenty-one, but just a boy.
A single tear flows down his cheek
when he thinks of life without her.
These feelings are all new to him.
The pain is way too deep.
His girlfriend is supportive,
but now he really needs his mom.
It's hard to visit her now
as the cancer has invaded her brain.
She's not the mother that he knows.
Her personality has changed.
He's ready for it to be over.
Her last gift to him is time.
He'll move on with his life,
but he'll never forget
the one who raised him
to be a man.
His mom.
Shawn has a learning disability and had been in special education classes while in school. He is devoted to his mother and has not yet been out in the world to experience any challenges alone. He quit a job three years ago to take care of his mother after her lung cancer diagnosis.
After the stroke, Darla was admitted into a Skilled Nursing Facility for end-of-life care. Shawn is overwhelmed by the emotions of losing his mother. Her personality has changed to where she has become demanding. Shawn hates to visit his mother now as this is not the mother he knows.
When I first met with Shawn, he was asking about state funding to support him financially. His rent bill is late and he owes money to the nursing facility. I spoke with Shawn about some avenues where he may get some help thinking, at the time, that he may not have the maturity to accomplish that without additional assistance.
The following week I met with Shawn again at his mother's facility. Shawn had followed up with the options we previously discussed. He had been successful in those endeavors. I was really proud of him. I felt that I was witnessing him mature right in front of my eyes.
A single tear flowed down his right cheek as he shared that he wanted things to be over. These emotions were new to him and he struggled with how to handle them. I referred him to one of our bereavement counselors as he says that his girlfriend is supportive, but he needed someone older to talk with. He needs a mom.
He is a young man that would make any mother proud. I told him that the best way to keep his mother's legacy alive is to be that wonderful man she raised. Darla died one week later after being on hospice for only three weeks.
HIS MOM
It's been just him and his mom
for more than fourteen years.
The two have been through a lot.
His mom and he.
He's too young to be losing her.
He's twenty-one, but just a boy.
A single tear flows down his cheek
when he thinks of life without her.
These feelings are all new to him.
The pain is way too deep.
His girlfriend is supportive,
but now he really needs his mom.
It's hard to visit her now
as the cancer has invaded her brain.
She's not the mother that he knows.
Her personality has changed.
He's ready for it to be over.
Her last gift to him is time.
He'll move on with his life,
but he'll never forget
the one who raised him
to be a man.
His mom.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
FAITH
Forty-nine year old "Andy" suffers from rectal cancer that has spread to his liver. The entire two months he has been on hospice, Andy talks about his belief that God will cure him. Andy is from a very large, extended family who are very involved in his life. Andy is married to "Sarah". Sarah and Andy have a fourteen year old son, "Jeremy". Sarah has been very honest with Jeremy about what is happening to his father.
Andy has been slowly declining, although would never talk about his decline or terminal diagnosis. He believes that God will grant him a miracle and cure him because there are people all over the world praying for him through a prayer chain.
Andy has been becoming weaker until suddenly he could no longer walk and was extremely weak. The hospice nurse went out to make a visit and called me to come out as she did not think Andy would survive the day.
I walked into the home and Sarah was helping Andy in the bathroom. While waiting for them to come out, I was able to meet with Andy's mother and sister who were visiting. They were both shocked at his rapid decline. Andy's mother had lost her eldest son fourteen years ago from cardiac disease. Andy is her youngest son. Her strong Catholic faith and prayer are what sustains her and the family.
Twenty minutes later, I went to check on Andy and Sarah. The bathroom door was open and Andy was sitting on the floor. Sarah was attempting to lift him up into the wheelchair and could not. Andy's sister tried to help and neither could lift him. I then called the non-emergency fire department to help Andy back into bed.
After the firemen left, Andy went from expecting God to grant him a miracle to the sudden awareness that he was dying. He was at total peace about it all. His only worry was his son and I reassured him that his son and family were going to be okay because of the love, support and strong faith his family provided.
Andy said that I came at the perfect time. I told him that I felt guided to his home. He answered, "Yes you were, by God". I, too, felt that I was touched by God; a miracle He granted to me.
The following morning, I called the home to see how things were going. I spoke with Sarah and she said that Andy died at 4:30am that morning. She had not yet contacted hospice as she wanted family to be able to say goodbye to Andy. I informed her that the hospice nurse can come out to do the pronouncement and the mortuary can be called when she is ready.
FAITH
He has always had a compelling faith.
His belief in God is that strong.
He reads bible verses daily
reinforcing his conviction that he will be saved.
He knows God will grant him a miracle.
He knows his cancer will be cured
for all the people who are praying for him
locally and around the world.
Even though he is weakening,
his conviction remains strong.
He will not talk about his dying,
even though his body is starting to shut down.
During my visit today, he slid down to the floor.
His wife was unable to lift him up
so firemen were called to help him to bed.
It was then that he realized the real truth.
He now knows his time is short.
He is suddenly at peace about letting go.
He continues to trust his faith to guide him.
His belief in God remains that strong.
Andy has been slowly declining, although would never talk about his decline or terminal diagnosis. He believes that God will grant him a miracle and cure him because there are people all over the world praying for him through a prayer chain.
Andy has been becoming weaker until suddenly he could no longer walk and was extremely weak. The hospice nurse went out to make a visit and called me to come out as she did not think Andy would survive the day.
I walked into the home and Sarah was helping Andy in the bathroom. While waiting for them to come out, I was able to meet with Andy's mother and sister who were visiting. They were both shocked at his rapid decline. Andy's mother had lost her eldest son fourteen years ago from cardiac disease. Andy is her youngest son. Her strong Catholic faith and prayer are what sustains her and the family.
Twenty minutes later, I went to check on Andy and Sarah. The bathroom door was open and Andy was sitting on the floor. Sarah was attempting to lift him up into the wheelchair and could not. Andy's sister tried to help and neither could lift him. I then called the non-emergency fire department to help Andy back into bed.
After the firemen left, Andy went from expecting God to grant him a miracle to the sudden awareness that he was dying. He was at total peace about it all. His only worry was his son and I reassured him that his son and family were going to be okay because of the love, support and strong faith his family provided.
Andy said that I came at the perfect time. I told him that I felt guided to his home. He answered, "Yes you were, by God". I, too, felt that I was touched by God; a miracle He granted to me.
The following morning, I called the home to see how things were going. I spoke with Sarah and she said that Andy died at 4:30am that morning. She had not yet contacted hospice as she wanted family to be able to say goodbye to Andy. I informed her that the hospice nurse can come out to do the pronouncement and the mortuary can be called when she is ready.
FAITH
He has always had a compelling faith.
His belief in God is that strong.
He reads bible verses daily
reinforcing his conviction that he will be saved.
He knows God will grant him a miracle.
He knows his cancer will be cured
for all the people who are praying for him
locally and around the world.
Even though he is weakening,
his conviction remains strong.
He will not talk about his dying,
even though his body is starting to shut down.
During my visit today, he slid down to the floor.
His wife was unable to lift him up
so firemen were called to help him to bed.
It was then that he realized the real truth.
He now knows his time is short.
He is suddenly at peace about letting go.
He continues to trust his faith to guide him.
His belief in God remains that strong.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
COWS
Fifty-seven year old "Denise" suffers from throat cancer. She has difficulty breathing which is becoming more of a struggle for her as each week goes by. In addition, she has recently started to cough up blood. Each new change is a reminder to her that she is getting closer to death. Her doctor feels she may die within the month.
Denise has a very large collection of porcelain cows. She was excited to learn that I too love cows. Denise stores her cows in two large bins. She brought out the bins today and started to carefully unwrap each cow. She started telling me the stories about each one and where she was traveling when she purchased them.
She was sharing her legacy with me as each cow triggered a beautiful memory for her. It also brought up a lot of sadness as it was a remindeer of all that she will be losing.
Denise asked me to donate the cows to a worthy cause for her. It is important to her that the cows find a home with someone who loves them as much as she does. This is her legacy.
COWS
She has always loved cows.
They easily put a quick smile on her face.
She now has quite a large collection
as her purchases have been many
these past few years.
There's not enough room to display them all.
Most are safely stored in two large bins.
Individually encased in pink bubble wrap.
Each tenderly wrapped by her own two hands.
We went through the two bins today.
She told me the story about each cow.
Each one triggering a lovely memory.
Each one triggering a single tear.
Each cow is reminiscent
of special times and places.
But each is also a reminder
of how much she is going to lose.
She gave me the two bins today.
She asked me to donate them to a worthy cause.
She knows she won't be alive to see it,
but her legacy will continue
as I'll make sure her cows
find a good home.
Denise has a very large collection of porcelain cows. She was excited to learn that I too love cows. Denise stores her cows in two large bins. She brought out the bins today and started to carefully unwrap each cow. She started telling me the stories about each one and where she was traveling when she purchased them.
She was sharing her legacy with me as each cow triggered a beautiful memory for her. It also brought up a lot of sadness as it was a remindeer of all that she will be losing.
Denise asked me to donate the cows to a worthy cause for her. It is important to her that the cows find a home with someone who loves them as much as she does. This is her legacy.
COWS
She has always loved cows.
They easily put a quick smile on her face.
She now has quite a large collection
as her purchases have been many
these past few years.
There's not enough room to display them all.
Most are safely stored in two large bins.
Individually encased in pink bubble wrap.
Each tenderly wrapped by her own two hands.
We went through the two bins today.
She told me the story about each cow.
Each one triggering a lovely memory.
Each one triggering a single tear.
Each cow is reminiscent
of special times and places.
But each is also a reminder
of how much she is going to lose.
She gave me the two bins today.
She asked me to donate them to a worthy cause.
She knows she won't be alive to see it,
but her legacy will continue
as I'll make sure her cows
find a good home.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
MY PRAYER
Nineteen year old "Chris" had been in remission from leukemia for about one year when it suddenly returned with a vengeance one week ago. He was admitted to hospice at that time. When I went out to meet with the family, Chris was unresponsive and very close to death. This is a large, supportive family with a strong Christian faith that sustains them. Many of Chris's friends were present during my visit.
Chris's father, "Ben" said that he and his son had just started to share adult to adult moments. Ben feels that his life will be tortured because of such a tremendous loss. I encouraged him to ask himself what his son would say to him when those moments occured.
Right before I left the home, Ben sat down next to Chris who was lying in his hospital bed. Ben was gently rubbing his son's hand. I asked Ben if he had given Chris permission to go. Ben started to cry and said that he hadn't even thought of doing that. I shared that it was okay if he was unable to do so.
The next morning I called the home to see how things were going for them. Ben shared how Chris had died about thirty minutes after I left. I wasn't yet aware as somehow the hospice nurse's message didn't get on the main reporting line. Ben said that one of his biggest worries was that his son would die and he wouldn't be present. He feared that he would hear from someone else how it went.
Ben stated that right after I left he gave his son permission to go. Chris died thirty minutes later. Ben said that he will never forget me for the rest of his life because of that. He said that I allowed him to be present when his son died. I immediately was speechless and my eyes filled with tears. This poem is my attempt at trying to decipher my connection with an amazing God.
MY PRAYER
Thank you God for using me yesterday.
For guiding me to their home
at that particular time,
on that particular day.
Thank you for giving me the words
that flowed so easily; so clear,
making sure that he would hear You.
You helped him to let go.
He wanted to share this moment.
Not to hear from someone else.
You directly it so perfectly.
You allowed him to be there.
He thanked me and said
he would never forget me.
It makes one humble.
I am in awe,
knowing You chose me in this way
to be a part of something great.
So I thank you God for using me.
I also will never forget.
Chris's father, "Ben" said that he and his son had just started to share adult to adult moments. Ben feels that his life will be tortured because of such a tremendous loss. I encouraged him to ask himself what his son would say to him when those moments occured.
Right before I left the home, Ben sat down next to Chris who was lying in his hospital bed. Ben was gently rubbing his son's hand. I asked Ben if he had given Chris permission to go. Ben started to cry and said that he hadn't even thought of doing that. I shared that it was okay if he was unable to do so.
The next morning I called the home to see how things were going for them. Ben shared how Chris had died about thirty minutes after I left. I wasn't yet aware as somehow the hospice nurse's message didn't get on the main reporting line. Ben said that one of his biggest worries was that his son would die and he wouldn't be present. He feared that he would hear from someone else how it went.
Ben stated that right after I left he gave his son permission to go. Chris died thirty minutes later. Ben said that he will never forget me for the rest of his life because of that. He said that I allowed him to be present when his son died. I immediately was speechless and my eyes filled with tears. This poem is my attempt at trying to decipher my connection with an amazing God.
MY PRAYER
Thank you God for using me yesterday.
For guiding me to their home
at that particular time,
on that particular day.
Thank you for giving me the words
that flowed so easily; so clear,
making sure that he would hear You.
You helped him to let go.
He wanted to share this moment.
Not to hear from someone else.
You directly it so perfectly.
You allowed him to be there.
He thanked me and said
he would never forget me.
It makes one humble.
I am in awe,
knowing You chose me in this way
to be a part of something great.
So I thank you God for using me.
I also will never forget.
Friday, September 3, 2010
MESSAGES FROM ABOVE
Fifty-seven year old "Debra" suffered from end stage colon cancer. She had no family locally as they all lived in different states. She had lived alone for years and was very independent. Her doctor first suggested hospice to her six weeks before she agreed to come onto hospice. Debra had already started her dying process by the time hospice became involved.
It was, at that time, that her brother "Bill" and sister "Hillary" were notified. They immediately got on a plane and flew out to say their goodbyes. They were able to contact the patient's attorney to assist with finalizing her estate. Bill agreed to take his sisters two dogs, which was a great relief to Debra. Bill's son, "Anthony" was an attorney and agreed to be the patient's power of attorney.
Everything fell into place rather quickly as Bill and Hillary were focused and did what needed to be done. They were also able to spend quality time with Debra which was beneficial to all.
Hillary was a school teacher and had to get back home as the school year was starting. They left on a Tuesday morning knowing that Debra was close to death. Debra died later that day. Bill and Hillary both feel so grateful for the time they had with Debra. Hillary said that she has peace in her heart.
MESSAGES FROM ABOVE
When they heard that she was dying,
they flew out to say their goodbyes.
Months would pass without much talk,
but the family ties remained strong.
They could only stay one week
as their work demands were great.
Focused and determined,
they accomplished what they came to do.
They knew her time was close
when they said their final goodbyes.
They boarded their flight to return home,
grateful for that blessed time.
They noticed a personalized license plate
on their drive from the airport to home.
It simply said, "On to God".
It was then that they really knew.
They heard the telephone ringing
the moment they walked through their door.
They already knew what they would hear,
that she had just died that day.
They felt she left them a message from above
on the personalized plate of that car.
It gave them both peace and comfort
knowing she was on her way.
Their connection may now become stronger
than it was when she was alive.
They need only to reach out
and she will always be there.
Messages from above.
It was, at that time, that her brother "Bill" and sister "Hillary" were notified. They immediately got on a plane and flew out to say their goodbyes. They were able to contact the patient's attorney to assist with finalizing her estate. Bill agreed to take his sisters two dogs, which was a great relief to Debra. Bill's son, "Anthony" was an attorney and agreed to be the patient's power of attorney.
Everything fell into place rather quickly as Bill and Hillary were focused and did what needed to be done. They were also able to spend quality time with Debra which was beneficial to all.
Hillary was a school teacher and had to get back home as the school year was starting. They left on a Tuesday morning knowing that Debra was close to death. Debra died later that day. Bill and Hillary both feel so grateful for the time they had with Debra. Hillary said that she has peace in her heart.
MESSAGES FROM ABOVE
When they heard that she was dying,
they flew out to say their goodbyes.
Months would pass without much talk,
but the family ties remained strong.
They could only stay one week
as their work demands were great.
Focused and determined,
they accomplished what they came to do.
They knew her time was close
when they said their final goodbyes.
They boarded their flight to return home,
grateful for that blessed time.
They noticed a personalized license plate
on their drive from the airport to home.
It simply said, "On to God".
It was then that they really knew.
They heard the telephone ringing
the moment they walked through their door.
They already knew what they would hear,
that she had just died that day.
They felt she left them a message from above
on the personalized plate of that car.
It gave them both peace and comfort
knowing she was on her way.
Their connection may now become stronger
than it was when she was alive.
They need only to reach out
and she will always be there.
Messages from above.
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