Working in hospice, one meets so many amazing folks with fascinating stories to tell. The illness is such a small part of who the patient is, but it becomes so strongly vivid when one is terminal. So much of hospice work is actively listening to patients and families.
There are no perfect words to say, but when one grieves, one wants to take the patient’s pain and sorrow away. The best gift of all is just being there; because in the end it is who is in your life; not what. Even though we may know and believe that; we may continue to try to fix things. Because in the end, our heart is truly breaking.
THIS TIME
He’s been in the hospital a lot lately
as has been sick for so many months.
His body keeps filling up with fluid;
while the doctors just don’t know why.
So much of his body is not working
leaving him needing a lot of support.
He gets short of breath and dizzy;
his appetite is nearly gone.
He came onto hospice today.
“I am tired of fighting the fight.
Nothing seems to be working much at all.
This may be my time to let go”.
This time, I didn’t know what to say.
I didn’t know how to react.
My words and emotions were jumbled and mixed.
Because, this time, he is my brother.
I wanted to say the right words.
I wanted to fix it and make things better.
I love being a hospice social worker,
but for now, he so much more needs a sister.
This time, I so deeply know how to be his sister.
I will continue to naturally love him
like he has always unconditionally loved me.
This is the best gift of all.
I so fortunately
know what to do;
this time.
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