WHY?

“Leslie” was diagnosed with abdominal cancer a little over a year ago.  She chose no treatment as the side effects were harsh.  Her twin brother, “Doug”, moved into her home to help out.    When Leslie could no longer work at her job, she applied for State Disability.  Her employer stopped her medical insurance after a few months.  Leslie came onto our hospice as we are one of only two non-profit hospices around.    

Leslie and Doug are from a large extended family, but so few live nearby.  Doug is gathering the troops.  Along with caring for his sister as her needs are increasing; trying to formulate a workable plan is exhausting him.   

 

I so hope that hospice’s support can help in any way.  They all so deserve the help and especially need the support.   

 

ADDENDUM:  Leslie died the following day at 11am.  One day later I spoke with Doug offering condolences and support.  He continued to amaze with his beautiful words.  When I asked Doug how he is coping with it all, he stated, “I am doing pretty well.  I am relieved she doesn’t have to suffer.  A weight is lifted off my shoulders.  It was difficult, horrible, but beautiful in the end.  She spoke with every family member at the time.  She taught me to live my life fully, which leaves me hopeful and optimistic"

 

WHY?

Twins at birth, fifty-two years ago. 

He was born 6 minutes before her. 

“I guess it is safe to say you are not identical”. 

He, while laughing added, 

                     “Thank goodness for her”. 

 

She was diagnosed with cancer 

just about fifteen months ago. 

She chose no further treatment 

as the side effects were harsh. 

 

All changed one month ago. 

She is bedbound as can no longer walk. 

She is eating only saltines crackers 

as any food causes her to vomit. 

 

He is her primary caregiver 

as has moved in to help her out. 

So much of their family lives away 

but he is trying to gather the troops. 

 

He is so real and expresses his grief. 

He is open to any support for he and her. 

Then sadly adding near the end of our talk, 

“Our mother went onto hospice two weeks ago.” 

 

Why do some folks have it so hard? 

One on hospice is difficult enough, but two? 

There likely is no acceptable answer, 

but I know that I will forever be inclined to ask, 

                    “Why?”