"OH MY"

“Matt”, fifty-five years old, was born with a birth defect that left him paralyzed from the waist down.  Matt has not had much family or friend support which resulted in the county caring for him.  About one week ago, Matt suddenly became septic.  His decline was rapid.  Learning about Matt’s life and health history, made me question, “Why has he been challenged with so much in his life?”  I know there is no logical answer, but it is hard not to search for one.   I pray that Matt has finally found peace.   

“OH MY” 

 

He was born with a birth defect; 

leaving him paralyzed from the waist down. 

His parents struggled with his care. 

Then senselessly abandoned him 

with no thoughts about their child at all. 

 

He spent his childhood in Foster Care 

with strangers in charge of his life. 

His “family” were county case managers; 

who had him conserved to help with his needs. 

 

Last week, he became septic; 

his immune system totally shut down. 

He no longer could talk or eat at all. 

His eyes would track whoever walked in. 

 

My immediate thought was, “Oh my gosh! 

Why has he lived with so many challenges? 

He has had more than his fair share. 

It just doesn’t seem right at all.  Oh my gosh!” 

 

He died yesterday afternoon at the nursing home. 

It was a surprise as he declined so quickly. 

Today I called his case manager to offer condolences. 

The first words I heard were, “Oh my God!” 

 

She was his emergency contact; his “family”. 

The facility should have called her first. 

She had no awareness that he had died. 

“Oh my God!  Oh my God! Oh my God!” 

 

I was able to give comfort over the phone; 

normalizing and validating while helping her grieve. 

I spoke about our bereavement support for counseling; 

“No thank you.  I am going to be okay, but 

                              Oh my God!”