HE

Our agency, along with hospice support, also has Palliative Care support.  I went out to admit “Julie” to the Palliative Care program.  Julie suffers from uterine cancer.  She is undergoing treatment and doing well. 

Prior to meeting up with Julie, I read the medical records that accompanied the referral.  It said that she was a “he”.  I had spoken with Julie’s mother a week prior regarding the support that is available from our program.  During my career as a social worker, I always have a quiet talk to my “buddies above” to help me find the right words to support the patient and families.  My goal is always to be helpful as needed. 

I was so impressed upon meeting him. He told his truth in such a kind way.  While we were talking, he had a small notebook which he drew animals and faces of people.  He was so talented.  I expressed my appreciation to his gift as an artist.  

As I was about to leave, I told him how I was honored to have met him.  It was then he said, while smiling, “You are f***ing great!”  We both then laughed together.  A perfect ending to an amazing visit. 

HE 

 

 

They named her Jennifer Lynn 

upon her birth thirty-seven years ago. 

In her early twenties, major changes occurred. 

It was then when they all heard, Schizophrenia. 

 

She became paranoid; losing trust in others. 

She hallucinated; seeing things that were not there. 

She strongly focused on the meanings; 

wanting answers; valid reasons for it all. 

 

“No longer address me as Jennifer. 

My name is Anorak; I am a wolf. 

I am now a He; a Him; a Male. 

I am pansexual.  I deal with anybody”. 

 

He showed me his wedding ring; 

a rare gemstone called the Larimar; 

only found in the Caribbean. 

                    “I am married to myself”. 

 

Prior to meeting him, I feared 

I would slip up and accidently say she, 

but, he so presents as a male 

with a mustache and a full beard. 

 

He so impressed me as he told his truth. 

He had self-convincing answers as to why. 

His focus was on doing the right things; 

never wanting to hurt anyone. 

 

He showed me the benefits 

when one naturally accepts others; 

as that is the best way 

                    to all get along. 

 

I feel so honored. 

I feel so blessed 

                    to have met  

                                        Him. 

 

WHAT HELPS

The amazing success about hospice is all of the staff work as a team.  The patients and families need us all.  The secretary answering the phone at the front desk is as important as our CEO.  I am so blessed as I have never seen so much heart as I do with our hospice staff.  It definitely is a calling.   The rewards are so tremendous.    

The Social Work role is so not tangible that many struggle what we all do.  They know what we do does help but cannot explain why.  Being strong patient and family advocates in such a non-judgmental way so clarifies our approach; our support.  Folks so cope using what has helped them throughout their life.    

The best part about my job is when ringing a doorbell, I have no idea what story or coping strategy I will hear.  Truly in the end, I experience so much normal. 

WHAT HELPS 

 

We admit patients to hospice 

with a terminal medical diagnosis. 

Non-medical needs will also arise; 

which is the role of the social worker. 

 

We are patient and family advocates. 

We will help them with any need that arises. 

We are also there for the caregiver 

as the demands can be horrendous; 

                    physically and emotionally. 

 

One of the biggest supports we do offer 

is all about mourning a tremendous loss. 

We normalize their emotions; 

                    we validate their grief. 

 

I will ask caregivers, “What helps you cope?” 

So many will mention supportive family and friends; 

or say they meditate while taking a walk; 

while others will garden and pull some weeds.

 

Spirituality is always an amazing support. 

We all believe what gives up hope. 

None of us can prove what we believe to be true, 

but then neither can anyone show evidence it’s false. 

 

When I asked her today what helps her cope, 

she strongly answered, “My faith will guide me.” 

He then said, “I am so ready to go.  I am at peace. 

                   I am going home”. 

 

All of us, either instinctively or of awareness, 

know so deeply; so assuredly; 

                  what helps.