THURSDAY

“Eugene”, seventy-three, was diagnosed with stomach cancer three years ago.  He has tried a very wide variety of available treatment.  He has been through so much suffering and loss secondary to that treatment. 

He lives with his wife, “Terry” for over thirty-five years.  She so strongly wants to follow his wishes.  Eugene has a doctor’s appointment in three days at UC San Francisco hospital, which is a ninety-minute gurney van drive.  Terry shared that Eugene is hoping the doctor has another treatment option. 

We all went into the bedroom to visit Eugene.  He is bedridden and looked so weak and frail.  Terry is appropriately overwhelmed by caregiving demands.  Legally, a hospice nurse cannot touch the patient until all of the admission paperwork has been signed by the patient or family.  After I left, the nurse took Eugene’s vitals.  His oxygen and blood pressure were so low, that she had Terry call 911, even though Eugene had initially said not to call. 

During Eugene’s hospital stay, the hospitalist/MD informed Eugene that he had spoken with the physicians at San Francisco who informed him that there are no further treatment options.  Eugene was treated at the hospital and became stable.  Without that hospital stay, I do not believe he would have seen Thursday.  He was discharged home and agreed to admit to hospice. 

THURSDAY 

 

He was diagnosed three years ago.

Stomach cancer which had already spread.

He tried chemotherapy, radiation;

ostomy and kidney tubes to no avail.

 

Today, Monday, we went out to meet him.

We spoke about hospice and comfort care.

He has a doctor’s appointment on Thursday.

“I want more treatment.  I so want to live!”

 

He has stopped eating since yesterday.

He is refusing to take any medicine.

He was short of breath during our visit.

His blood pressure and oxygenation were so low.

 

Insurances, while covering hospice costs;

won’t cover any skilled treatments.

It was so obvious he needed hospice’s support,

but he was so not yet ready to go there.

 

As I was leaving the house,

I praised her for following his wishes.

She was giving him unconditional love; 

                    the best gift of all.

 

I turned to walk out the front door,

but slowly circled back to softly say;

in my spiritually-guided voice,

                    “He may not see Thursday”.