HIS BELIEFS

I ask patients and families many questions during my admission visits.  I ask in order for hospice to support all of them any way possible.  My favorite question is about spiritual beliefs.   So many, initially think, I am asking about a religion.  Yes, religion is a spiritual belief, but there is, oh, so much more.  

If someone walks into the Redwoods, or near the ocean, it does embrace spiritually.  An agnostic or atheist have strong beliefs as well.  That definitely is their spiritual belief.   I cannot prove my spiritual beliefs, but then, no one can disprove it either.  Our beliefs, whatever they may be, gives us support, gives us strength. 

I was so amazed by how this patient expressed his beliefs.  It was profound and simply beautiful.  Thank you, “John”.  I will never forget your beautiful words.

HIS BELIEFS 

 

He’s lived over two years with cancer.

He’s had chemotherapy and infusions.

Now, to no avail; are no longer effective.

He is now so ready for it all to be over.

 

A few minutes after we arrived,

he powerfully stated,

“I want to pass if possible.

                    I want to stop living”.

 

He is very precise; very meticulous

as was a science professor by trade.

He has worked for years with exact equations;

while always too; speaking his truth.

 

When I asked him about his spiritual beliefs,

he totally amazed me with his beautiful words.

He does not identify with any religion,

but so lives and breathes spiritually.

 

He slowly turned to his family and softly stated,

“I’ll be in the essence; you will find me.

I’ll be amongst the trees;

                    amongst the butterflies;

                                        amongst your hearts.”

 

“If you want a hug,

                    hug a tree.

I’ll forever be here

                    for all of you.”

 

HOME

“Joel”, fifty-seven, was diagnosed with cancer just a few months ago.  Shortly after, his doctors informed him that the cancer has already metastasized.   Joel decided at that time to stop all treatment.  Joel is single and has no children.  He has lived alone for years.  Joel’s goal now is to fly home to Minnesota to be with his family.  He is appropriately struggling with the loneliness of being in a Skilled Nursing Facility 

I hope we are able to assist he and his family to make his trip home happen in a timely manner.  He is such a perfect case of what is really important in this life.  Not what is in your life, but who. I wish you the best Joel.

HOME 

 

He was diagnosed with liver cancer

just about three months ago.

He chose no further treatment

as it had already spread to his brain.

 

He moved from Minnesota thirty years ago.

“I wanted to get away from the cold”.

His very large family has lived there for decades.

Now, he just wants to go home.

 

He is single with no children of his own.

I asked about his family; his support.

“I have many brothers and sisters.

I am number twenty out of twenty-three.”

 

We spoke with two of his sisters

who are coming into town next week.

They need help flying him to Minnesota

while locating a hospice there as well.

 

We spoke with him about hospice support.

We asked about ways he needed our help,

but he would easily get distracted and say,

                  “I just want to go home.”

 

He started to cry

when we were about to leave.

“It is so lonely here.

                        Just being by myself”.

 

I hope we can help arrange his journey;

to give him the best gift of all;

being surrounded by his family.

                    Being home.

 

COPE

A patient comes onto hospice secondary to a medical diagnosis.  I strongly encourage patients and families to call hospice with any medical question or need as our phone gets picked up 24/7.  I then will add that non-medical events occur as well. That is the role and support of the social worker.  A big part of that is bereavement, grief and loss.  Asking someone about how they cope, is such a huge part of grief.   Quite often, a large part of the social work role is active listening, validating and normalizing.  However anyone feels is a normal emotion or reaction.  I will hear “Thank you” frequently, as folks often think that there are rules that accompany grief.   Not at all.  It is rewarding knowing that we can support patients and families their way.

COPE 

 

During a hospice admission,

I will characteristically ask, “How do you cope?”,

as we are always there for the patients;

for the family and the caregivers as well.

 

I often hear similar answers such as;

“I reach out to family; I run; I strum my guitar”.

I also will hear, “I garden; I golf;

                            I play with my grandkids”.

 

Some may have no answer at all.

They truly don’t know what helps them cope.

Most all, naturally, want to diminish their grief;

so hopefully, they are pursuing some behavior that helps.

 

Then there are others who use humor to cope.

It so takes the edge off; it lightens the load.

When I asked him today, what helps him cope;

I laughed when I heard, “I smoke a stiff joint”.

 

Being the caregiver for both of her parents;

she, on the other hand, has a spiritual side.

She touched my heart so deeply when I heard;

“I walk my dog along the river

                          while listening to the birds”.