TOO MUCH

We admitted “Bobbi”, seventy-nine years old, to hospice today.  Bobbi, who had been in perfect health and totally independent until three months ago when she suffered two strokes which left her paralyzed on her right side.  The hospice nurse and I met up with Bobbi’s granddaughter, “Sara” at the nursing facility where her grandmother was transferred to today. 

Sara is in her mid-thirties, but wise beyond her years.  At first, Sara shared wonderful stories about her grandmother.  In addition, she also shared all of the losses this family has suffered in the past five years.  It felt so unreal. 

She stated that the way she is coping is “By just going forward”.  She is realistic regarding her grandmother’s prognosis as works in the medical field herself.  She knows that her grandmother has not had any water or food for over a week which likely means her death will be soon.  She is looking at the practical side of things as is aware of the importance of being on top of those things as well.  Strongly, I also spoke about the necessity and benefits of self-care needs.  I wish her all of the best.

TOO MUCH 

 

She had always felt exceptionally grateful

being so independent with excellent health.

It all changed so dramatically three months ago;

when suddenly she suffered two major strokes.

 

She has not eaten anything for over a week;

while not intaking any fluids or water at all.

She is now bedridden; no longer talking;

being unresponsive to any stimulation around.

 

I met up with her granddaughter at the facility.

She told me amazing stories about her grandmother.

She also shared many sad tales that impacts her family;

                    eight deaths in five years.

 

Her mother, being grandmother’s only child;

died suddenly ten years ago at age forty-two.

In addition, her father died one week before grandmother’s strokes;

her sister two years ago in a motor vehicle accident.

 

I counseled her on grief; I so validated her losses.

Way too many deaths in such a short time.

When asked, “What helps you cope?”

she immediately responded, “I am in a fog”.

 

So many losses in such a short time.

Why has this happened to her family?

There are no clear answers, but I wouldn’t be surprised

if the thought of “This is way too much” does arise

                    now and then.