HEART

Hospice’s bereavement department follow up with patient’s families for thirteen months after the death.  The Social Worker case manager will call the family one or two days after the death, to check in with the family to see how they are doing.  I will make those condolence calls as well.   

“Barry”, had only been on hospice for one day.  I called his wife, “Jenny” to see how she was doing.  What she told me was so beautiful; it gave me goosebumps.  I hear stories like this often.  I personally have experienced it as well.  It gives me hope that, in the end, we all are going to be just fine.  Thank you so much for sharing your experience, Jenny.

HEART 

 

His disease presented with such a rapid decline

as his shortness of breath caught them all by surprise.

He came onto our hospice program Monday morning;

by Tuesday afternoon, he took his final breath.

 

I called her to offer condolences and support;

wanting to know how she was coping.

She answered, “l am doing okay.

It gives me relief knowing that he is no longer suffering.”

 

“I am surrounded by tremendous support.

My friends are visiting, calling and texting me.

That’s what gives me comfort and also tears.

I could never handle this being alone.”

 

‘I was driving home from a doctor’s appointment today

when I looked up toward the sky.

There, surrounded by cumulus clouds,

was a beautiful, celestial, white heart”.

 

“I know it was him wanting me and the family to know

that he is okay and doing well on the other side.

I know we will all see him again one day,

but, for now, I know that I can always embrace

                    his beautiful heart.”

 

TOO MUCH

We admitted “Bobbi”, seventy-nine years old, to hospice today.  Bobbi, who had been in perfect health and totally independent until three months ago when she suffered two strokes which left her paralyzed on her right side.  The hospice nurse and I met up with Bobbi’s granddaughter, “Sara” at the nursing facility where her grandmother was transferred to today. 

Sara is in her mid-thirties, but wise beyond her years.  At first, Sara shared wonderful stories about her grandmother.  In addition, she also shared all of the losses this family has suffered in the past five years.  It felt so unreal. 

She stated that the way she is coping is “By just going forward”.  She is realistic regarding her grandmother’s prognosis as works in the medical field herself.  She knows that her grandmother has not had any water or food for over a week which likely means her death will be soon.  She is looking at the practical side of things as is aware of the importance of being on top of those things as well.  Strongly, I also spoke about the necessity and benefits of self-care needs.  I wish her all of the best.

TOO MUCH 

 

She had always felt exceptionally grateful

being so independent with excellent health.

It all changed so dramatically three months ago;

when suddenly she suffered two major strokes.

 

She has not eaten anything for over a week;

while not intaking any fluids or water at all.

She is now bedridden; no longer talking;

being unresponsive to any stimulation around.

 

I met up with her granddaughter at the facility.

She told me amazing stories about her grandmother.

She also shared many sad tales that impacts her family;

                    eight deaths in five years.

 

Her mother, being grandmother’s only child;

died suddenly ten years ago at age forty-two.

In addition, her father died one week before grandmother’s strokes;

her sister two years ago in a motor vehicle accident.

 

I counseled her on grief; I so validated her losses.

Way too many deaths in such a short time.

When asked, “What helps you cope?”

she immediately responded, “I am in a fog”.

 

So many losses in such a short time.

Why has this happened to her family?

There are no clear answers, but I wouldn’t be surprised

if the thought of “This is way too much” does arise

                    now and then.

 

99 YEARS

 We received a referral to admit, “Jim” to hospice.  Jim has been in a recent, dramatic decline whereby he is in bed most of the day due to weakness.  Two months ago, he was totally independent.  Now he needs helps with all of his activities of daily living.  Jim lives with his wife, “Diana”.  She, too, is totally independent.  

So wonderful is that both of them have such a positive attitude about life.  They appreciate each day and enjoy life as it happens.  One of their three daughters lives five minutes away and visits daily.  There is a lot of laughter and joy in the home.  They are such an inspiration for us all.

99 YEARS 

 

They met each other in their mid-twenties.

She was two months older than he.

She was a hair dresser;

                    he was her client.

 

They now have been married 73 years.

Both are ninety-nine years of age.

“What is your secret for such a long marriage?”

“We both just still, so get along.”

 

They have always been so independent, so active,

until two months ago when he became so weak.

He now uses a walker due to his shuffling gait.

He is also sleeping about twenty hours each day.

 

He recently has lost eighteen pounds

as his diet consists of only one meal a day.

When asked how he is coping with all of this,

he smiled and said, “I am doing just fine.”

 

She is his primary caregiver,

although family does help out.

She is good natured and smiles so easily;

seeing life as a gift she treasures each day.

 

“What is your secret in living so long?”

“I so appreciate my health; my independence;

but I never, in my life thought

                  I would see ninety-nine years!”