FOUR DAYS

I meet so many wonderful folks on a daily basis doing hospice work.  Patients are living with a terminal diagnosis.  I am always amazed at how well so many manage these burdens.  The best part is that most folks do reach out to their support network of family and friends. 

I am reminded frequently, “There for the grace of God, go I”.    A powerful gift I so frequently receive is a reminder of how blessed I am to have my health along with a wonderful support network of family and friends.  

When I meet a patient I can relate to, those emotions run deeper and truer.  Today’s patient touched my heart and soul deeply while allowing me to strongly embrace my family, my friends and my health.  All I can say is, “Thank you”.

FOUR DAYS 

 

I meet so many amazing people in my work.

Patients and families who are grieving so deep;

but still find effective ways to cope; to manage;

even though times are challenging and hard.

 

Hospice patients continually teach me;

“Embrace this moment as that is all that we have”.

Strong reminders for me to count my blessings

and to appreciate the gifts I have in this life.

 

She was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s six years ago.

She is unable to carry on any conversation at all.

She is now bedridden; no longer getting up

and has lost over twenty pounds as her appetite is down.

 

She is one patient I strongly relate to.

We have so much in common.

The vulnerability in life.

“Why her, and not me?”

 

We both have been married over fifty years.

She has two daughters; and I, two sons.

She met her husband seven miles from my hometown;

we all attending the same junior college at the same time.

 

We could have so easily met years ago.

I traveled my journey and she hers.

But the biggest happenstance of all;

she was born

                    just four days

                                        before I.

 

PRACTICAL

“Greg”, seventy years old, was diagnosed with lung cancer just ten weeks ago.  He underwent chemotherapy to no avail.  The side affects were horrendous and left him totally weak and unable to manage his daily routine.  Greg is married to his wife, “Gina”.  They have three children who are very loving and involved. 

From the moment I walked into his home, Greg spoke in such a practical manner.  He is so realistic regarding his rapid decline and very poor prognosis.  He has no fears or concerns and faces his prognosis in such a true manner. 

He has spiritual beliefs and stated that he doesn’t know anything about what afterlife will be, but it will be what it will be.  He has accepted his life while on this Earth and I know, will accept life on the other side just as practical. 

PRACTICAL

 

Ten weeks ago, he celebrated his 70^th year.

5 weeks ago, he heard, “It is cancer”.

He underwent treatment to no avail.

Then one week ago, “Let me go home to die”.

 

He has declined, oh so quickly.

Once independent, now needs much more help.

He spends most days in his hospital bed

as becomes short of breath and easily fatigued.

 

He greeted me with such a beautiful smile;

while welcoming me into his home.

He asked about the end-of-life process;

while totally accepting what is to be.

 

He has no concerns; no fears at all.

His practical nature came shining through.

“It is going to happen to all of us;

                    no one is immune”.

 

He believes in spirituality; in afterlife,

but no concerns on what it may be.

“It’s going to happen the way

                   it is going to happen”.

 

He has totally accepted his fate;

with no need to ask, “Why?”

When it is his time to cross over,

I know with his practical nature

                    he will easily glide.

 

A MOTHER'S LOVE

The hospice nurse and I went out to a Skilled Nursing Facility to admit “Reggie”, twenty-nine to hospice.  Reggie suffers from cardiac and liver disease from using illegal drugs for so many years.  His mother, “Tanya”, was present for the hospice admission.  Tanya loved her son so deeply.  You could feel it when she shared stories about his life; the good with the bad.  She so accepted him for who he was. 

Tanya amazed me as was realistic and accepting of what life has handed her.  She has suffered four other deaths this past year; three family members and a good friend.  Tanya was able to talk realistically about her grief from all of these losses.  

When asked what helps her cope, she stated, “I find my space; I find my time.”  That, along with her strong Christian faith, so helps her get through each day.  She is a beautiful and loving mom.  She saw life so simply; so clearly.  Hospice’s goal is to support her as well.  The hospice nurse and I recognized her as an amazing being; a beautiful soul.

A MOTHER’S LOVE 

 

He is her middle child.

She shared stories about his life,

while simply just loving and accepting him.

“He has always been strong willed.”

 

He has made some poor choices along the way

that are now strongly impacting him.

His heart is failing; his lungs are weak,

but he has so accepted his plight.

 

She is realistic about his life;

while calmly sharing the good with the bad.

Appropriate tears flowed down her cheeks

as she spoke about the loss that will be.

 

She was with her sister when she died;

just two months ago at age fifty-six.

Her sister loved yellow butterflies

and moments after her death,

a yellow butterfly flew nearby.

 

She has strong beliefs about afterlife.

She knows her son, will too, come around.

But then it is still so out of order

as he has just recently turned twenty-nine.

 

She is aware of his life choices;

be they good or be they bad.

She so clearly accepts who his is

as absolutely gives him so what he needs.

 

Just simply, a mother’s heartfelt gift;

                    unconditional love.

 

SO NATURAL

“Diane”, seventy-two, suffered from Rheumatoid Arthritis for many, many years.  She also had a diagnosis I have not heard about; whereby her body did not produce enough fluids.  Diane took a fall several months ago and fractured her shoulder and ribs.  Her biggest complaint was tremendous constant pain.   She said if she was laying down, her pain was minimal, but with movement, the pain increased. 

Diane is married to her husband, “Brian”, who is the main caregiver.  They have no children or family at all.  They have many supportive friends, but it naturally is difficult for Brian to ask for help.  I spoke about the positives about seeking support from another.  When one asks for help, the person they are asking is receiving a gift.  It is surely a positive thing to do.

The nurse and I were there for about ninety minutes.  The time just flowed so easily.   Both Diane and Brian spoke their truth; while seeking what can be done to help.  They were so gracious and appreciative of hospice’s support.  

Our gift to them was definitely hospice support; as their gift to us was appreciation.  It doesn’t get any better than that.  Hospice’s number one gift is comfort care.  I feel that gift has already been initiated in order for Diane to feel much less pain.  God bless both of them.

SO NATURAL 

 

We had an 11am scheduled visit today;

to admit a patient to Palliative Care.

Her sister wasn’t there when we arrived.

She had totally forgotten all about it.

 

I then made it back to the office just in time

to join the nurse for a 12pm hospice admission.

I was meant to be at the second visit,

as it felt, oh so natural, just to be there.

 

She was in so much pain from “head to toe”.

“The pain is getting worse each day.

                    I can’t live this way.

                                        I want it over.”

 

He, too, was suffering; be it emotional pain.

He so focused and cared for her and her needs.

He worried about becoming exhausted; becoming sick.

“I don’t know if I can continue to help this way”.

 

They both spoke their truth;

their pain; their needs; their worries.

They both needed help for themselves.

“What can we do, to make it through?”

 

I counseled them on their grief; their emotions.

I validated and normalized their fears.

I spoke about the gifts of hospice.

They both were so appreciative of the support.

 

It was, oh so natural, as I was truly meant

                       to be just there.