AS DO I

The hospice nurse and I went out to admit “Lisa” to hospice.  Lisa was diagnosed with brain cancer two years ago.  Although he has undergone chemotherapy and radiation, her tumor is growing and has spread.  Lisa is widowed and has two sons.  Both boys live nearby and are very attentive to their mother. 

The plan is for Lisa to move into her son “Jason’s” home tonight in order for her to have the care she needs.  It was so beautiful how much her two sons were so devoted to their mother.  Lisa had a great sense of humor which had us all laughing.  Her humor triggered my humor which also made her laugh as well.  I felt so connected to her from the start. 

Her personality was a lot like mine as were her strong beliefs.  We spoke about spirituality as were both on the same page.  It was wonderful.  She then would bring up past stories of her life that would make us all laugh. 

I hope our paths will cross again; either here on Earth, or yes, maybe on the other side.  “See you later Lisa”.

AS DO I

 

The moment we walked into her home,

she snatched me with her humor.

She believes humor is so important;

                    as do I.

 

We had so much in common.

Growing up near each other;

attending Catholic Church and school;

but now spirituality is what we both believe.

 

She spoke about her dying without any fears.

“I believe it will be limitless love.

Whether it is true or not;

                   it is comforting to believe.”

 

I felt so connected with her.

She spoke words that I would use.

She believes strongly what I so believe.

Why have not we met before?

 

She then shared her thoughts with me;

“We have definitely been in past lives together.

We think alike and we are alike.

We are so on the same route.”

 

She believed her words so strongly

which was such a comfort to me.

She knows that our paths will cross again;

                    as do I.

 

WE WERE ONE

The hospice nurse and I went out to a Skilled Nursing Facility today to admit, “Carla”, ninety years old, to hospice.  Carla had been living with her eldest daughter, “Maria”, who had been her primary caregiver. Carla was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease several years ago, but had been doing quite well.  She suffered a stroke six weeks ago which caused right sided weakness.  Carla is now bedridden and eating very little. 

Carla was admitted to the facility yesterday after a lengthy hospitalization and rehab.  Carla has seven children and a very large extended family.  Her family all live locally and are very attentive and supportive.  Carla’s eldest daughter, Maria, has a son, “Abe”, who is a nurse at the facility where Carla is now a patient.  

Upon meeting Abe, he had me with “Hello”.  He was so articulate and caring.  His heart just shined through so beautifully.  He spoke about his concerns about his grandmother and his mother.  It was so clear that he was the primary caregiver for his entire family.  I know they will all be okay as the beautiful support they gave to each other is the greatest gift of all.

WE WERE ONE 

 

He is the thirty-year old grandson

of a very large, extended, supportive family.

He is the spokesperson for them all

as is the only one who speaks English fluently.

 

He also, so graciously, speaks from his heart

while being the primary caregiver for them all.

“This is so difficult for all of them.

I have to make sure they are doing okay.”

 

Grandma was admitted to a facility yesterday

as she suffered a stroke six weeks ago.

She has stopped eating and is drinking very little.

Her time is nearing its end.

 

I met with him alone in the hallway.

He appropriately shed some tears

as spoke about his father

who died when he was a teenager.

 

He had a very close relationship with his father.

‘He was the rock; while I was the stone.”

I validated his emotions with compassion.

I then shared, “I had the same relationship with my dad”.

 

As I was about to leave, he gently said,

“I need to talk with you again.

Hearing bits of your stories,

                          has really helped me.”

 

I strongly felt I have met him before.

We spoke the same language, we thought alike.

We connected on a high spiritual level.

I so believe, there was a time in our past that

                         we were one.

 

SELF CARE

The hospice nurse and I met “Jeff” today.  He is the caregiver for his mother, who is a patient at a Skilled Nursing Facility.  She was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease four years ago.  Jeff had been caring for her at home, but her needs became too much for him.  Two years ago, he placed her in the facility.  

Jeff is also the caregiver for his sister, who suffers from Schizophrenia.  She needs help from her brother.  Jeff’s total focus is on caring for his family and not looking at his own needs.  Self-care is so important, but at times, hard to do because of other life’s demands. 

Jeff was honest with his emotions, grief and stress.  He was so truthful about it all.  He admitted he was an alcoholic, but stated that he did not have time to care for himself.  I spoke with him about the importance of self-care in order to continue to care for his family.  

When I referred him to AA, he stated that he did not have the time to attend meetings.   Then I remembered that last week I first heard about AA meetings on Zoom.  When I referred him to AA on Zoom, his face lit up as he stated, “I may try that”.  I hope he does as self-care is so important for us all.

SELF CARE

 

I met him at the facility today.

He is his mother’s primary support.

With her confusion and weakness,

he could no longer care for her at home.

 

He also is the caregiver for his sister.

She lives with him and needs help as well.

She suffers from Schizophrenia

needing some supervision now and then.

 

He spoke about his stress; his anxiety;

being the only one in the family who cares.

He has no time to think about his needs

as his primary focus is totally on them.

 

When asked, “What helps you cope?”,

he responded with his honesty; his truth;

“I drink.  I know I should stop, but cannot;

although I haven’t had a drink for six days”.

 

I spoke about the importance of self-care,

in order to continue to support his family;

and how he so needs to nurture himself.

I recommended he attend an AA meeting.

 

He responded that he has no time.

But then, I remembered what I learned last week.

I heard about AA meetings on Zoom.

I spoke to him about that as another option.

 

His face lit up as did not know about it.

He stated that he will look into it for support.

As he walked away, he quietly turned and softly said,

                         “You were guided to be here.”