I have been a hospice social worker for over thirty years and have had moments of grief now and then. When we face a lot of sadness and loss, it can occasionally distract us of our own true emotions. While body language is so strong and powerful; emotions too, can often be so true and deep. The patient, “Lea”, had been married to the step-son’s father for about eighteen months. The step-son, “Jake”, and the patient had met only a few times. One additional barrier was that Lea did not speak English. Watching the two of them together was so gentle and loving.
Lea has a daughter living overseas and Jake does not know her name or contact number. Another sad fact was that Lea was only sixty-five while her deceased husband was just sixty-one. Both much too young to die. I so wanted to fix things even though I know that is not a Social Worker’s task.
I now know
she is in a better place. Jake can now
move on in his life and have the time to grieve both of them.
I WAS
GRIEVING
I met she
and her stepson
on a Friday,
three days ago.
She was just
admitted to the facility
a short time
before we arrived.
She was so
tired and weak;
her disease
taking its strong toll.
Her stepson
sat next to her
wanting to
help her so much.
His strong
caring nature
touched my
heart so deeply.
His father had
been her caregiver,
but he died
suddenly one week ago.
I wanted to
help both of them so much.
I wanted to
fix things;
but was
limited by so many facts.
I walked
away feeling so down.
I couldn’t
stop thinking about
both of them
all weekend.
My heart
felt heavy and sad.
They were
dealing with so much.
Arriving to
work today, I read on report that
she had died
early this morning at five o’clock.
It was then
that I was aware I had been grieving;
as I felt a strong sign
of relief.
Their
separation was only for ten days.
Her
suffering is behind her; never to return.
She is spiritualty
with the man she loves;
for always;
for forever;
for eternity.
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