YOUNG AT HEART

We admitted “Mary” to our Palliative Care Program today.   Mary had been living alone and very independent until recently; whereby due to knee pain, it became a struggle for her to be able to handle some household and personal tasks. 

Mary’s husband died suddenly at age forty from a heart attack.  Both of her sons live on the East Coast, whereby Mary learned to manage her needs effectively.  Mary uses a walker to ambulate secondary to her knee pain.  She has hired caregivers five hours each day to help.  She has also hired a case manager to assist her with tasks that do arise. 

Mary had a wonderful, sarcastic humor.  She laughed so easily with a personality so full of life. She was real about it all and totally accepted her life as it was.  She had such a positive outlook on whatever came her way. 

Mary had very few health problems.  When we admit patients to hospice or palliative care, we typically see multiple health problems listed on their medical records.  Mary’s records just showed pain and a rapid heart rate at times.  We knew she would benefit from Palliative Care support.

 Meeting Mary was indeed very special.  She was spunky and tough.  There is no greater compliment I can ever give to anyone.  Thank you, Mary, for totally being you.

YOUNG AT HEART

 

Being totally independent,

she has lived her life fully.

Her husband died sixty years ago;

while her two children reside out of state.

 

Until two weeks ago, she needed no help;

but then, fatigue and knee pain set in;

making it hard to complete some tasks.

She then hired help for five hours each day.

 

We met with her to admit to Palliative Care.

Her hired case manager was there as well.

She was able to walk slowly using her walker

while graciously offering us a place to sit.

 

We asked questions about her health care,

while also asking, “How can we help?”

When asked, “What is your secret for living a long life?”

“Do everything in moderation.

                           It is as simple as that”.

 

A medical diagnosis is needed

when admitting to our program.

Her heart may race now and then,

which allowed us to use Tachycardia to let her come on.

 

At one point she shared, “They tell me I am old”.

I replied, “With your gregarious and humorous personality,

you are one of the youngest souls

                         I have ever met or known.”

 

She was so full of life; of laughter; and so much fun.

It is hard to believe that with her next birthday;

only three weeks away next month;

she will be turning a very young 102.

 

I WAS GRIEVING

I have been a hospice social worker for over thirty years and have had moments of grief now and then.  When we face a lot of sadness and loss, it can occasionally distract us of our own true emotions.   While body language is so strong and powerful; emotions too, can often be so true and deep.  The patient, “Lea”, had been married to the step-son’s father for about eighteen months. The step-son, “Jake”, and the patient had met only a few times. One additional barrier was that Lea did not speak English.  Watching the two of them together was so gentle and loving. 

Lea has a daughter living overseas and Jake does not know her name or contact number.   Another sad fact was that Lea was only sixty-five while her deceased husband was just sixty-one. Both much too young to die.   I so wanted to fix things even though I know that is not a Social Worker’s task.  

I now know she is in a better place.  Jake can now move on in his life and have the time to grieve both of them.

I WAS GRIEVING

 

I met she and her stepson

on a Friday, three days ago.

She was just admitted to the facility

a short time before we arrived.

 

She was so tired and weak;

her disease taking its strong toll.

Her stepson sat next to her

wanting to help her so much.

 

His strong caring nature

touched my heart so deeply.

His father had been her caregiver,

but he died suddenly one week ago.

 

I wanted to help both of them so much.

I wanted to fix things;

but was limited by so many facts.

I walked away feeling so down.

 

I couldn’t stop thinking about

both of them all weekend.

My heart felt heavy and sad.

They were dealing with so much.

 

Arriving to work today, I read on report that

she had died early this morning at five o’clock.

It was then that I was aware I had been grieving;

                        as I felt a strong sign of relief.

 

Their separation was only for ten days.

Her suffering is behind her; never to return.

She is spiritualty with the man she loves;

for always;

          for forever;

                    for eternity.

 

A HERO

The hospice nurse and I went out to admit, “Carla”, sixty-three, to hospice.   She was diagnosed with cancer just a few months ago.  She tried chemotherapy, which did not help much at all.  She has been in a recent decline to where she is so much weaker.  She is bedridden and not eating much at all.   She is sleeping much more during the day as well.  

We were notified ahead that we would also be meeting up with her stepson, “Johnnie”.  Walking into her room, we saw Carla lying down in her bed and Johnnie sitting in a nearby chair.  Johnnie was covered with tattoos and piercings.  That look, at times, can send off a “tough-guy” message, but he had me with “Hello”. 

He told us about his father’s sudden death and how now he is the only family available to help. He would try hard to talk with Carla so that she would understand, but she would doze off due to her weakness. In addition, she did not speak English and It took energy to try to decipher the conversation. 

I so respected Johnnie as a human being.  Despite the loss of his father, his first thought was her needs.  To me, he is a true hero. 

A HERO 

 

She was married to his father

for just a little over a year.

He, her stepson, didn’t really know her

as only met up with her three times.

 

Communication with her was a challenge

as she did not speak English at all.

Sadly, she was recently diagnosed with cancer;

and has declined a lot these past few months.

 

His father died suddenly one week ago.

He had been her support; her caregiver.

Now, he, the stepson, is the only family nearby

as her only daughter lives overseas.

 

She was hospitalized this past week

as she could no longer manage her daily needs.

He is mourning the loss of his father,

but still so focused on helping his step-mom.

 

He met us this afternoon at the Board & Care Home

where she moved today to get her necessary care.

She has no income at all; so fortunately,

her medical insurance is paying the rent.

 

Upon meeting her step-son, one might think he is tough.

He has a lot of tattoos and piercings,

but he has the biggest heart; the most caring soul.

In my eyes, he definitely is

                                 “A true hero!”